Building Your Dreams

January 17, 2016

 Manifesting What You Really Want

By Paula O’Sullivan

Castles in the air

“If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be.

Now put the foundations under them.” – Henry David Thoreau, Walden (Quote)

Many of us have a vague idea of what we want. Sometimes we do get what we asked for, but it turns out to be, not what we really wanted after all. Sometimes we don’t even seem to be getting anywhere near to what we desire. It can be a frustrating venture.

I’d like to share some of the things that are helping me to manifest what I want. Ok I’m a work in progress here, and I’m no expert, which is a good thing, as I’m constantly open to trying new and different approaches, so I’ll keep sharing as I learn and get results.

I’d like you to begin thinking of yourself as an architect from now on. What does an architect do?  They take the time to formulate an idea of what they want to create. Once they know what they want, they put some ideas on paper. They believe it is possible, otherwise it won’t happen. They check out the environmental impact of their plan. Then they go into the details. What materials will they use? How much will it cost? Who will they need to help? Ok you get the idea, ready? Let’s go!

Everything in your world has been created from thoughts. Unbelievable huh? Look around you… the clothes you wear, the car, the computer, the pathways you walk on, the building you live or work in, the chair, the bed, all the gadgets etc. Yes! Even you were a thought in someone’s mind at one stage, in my case an unwanted thought, but hey that’s life!

But it doesn’t end there. What about your life right now? The relationships you have or don’t have. The way people treat you. The things you do or don’t do? How you feel about life and your experiences. Your health, your wealth or lack of them? Somewhere you had a thought that led you here. Our beliefs are just thoughts we keep thinking over and over, and these can become our conscious or subconscious reactions to things. These can affect our behaviour and the actions we take or don’t take.

The good news is that if everything in our lives was created by our thoughts and beliefs, then we can change it. Thoughts can be changed, and with different thoughts about things, we will take different actions and form different behaviours, which will create something different. As Albert Einstein said, ‘We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them’.

So the first thing we must do is:

Decide what you want to create. Think about the architect, be specific. Why do you want it? What do you think gaining this will give you? The reason I ask is this, some people want more money, but approximately 70 – 95 % of lottery winners become broke within 5 years and are worse off. Some people who enter new relationships end up feeling they are further from experiencing what they wanted. Some people who change jobs find they have re-entered a similar or worse situation than before.

Sort yourself out first: If you can’t manage your finances now, then winning a large sum won’t change that. Learn how to do it now, so that if you do attract large sums of money, you won’t be a statistic of those who go broke again.

Work on yourself: If you have low self- esteem and no healthy boundaries now, don’t expect that a new relationship or work situation will change that. If you don’t love and respect yourself, don’t expect others to. If you don’t make the time to look after and nurture your wants and needs, then no one else will make sure that you get it. Well this has been my experience anyway. We only get treated the way we allow ourselves to be treated. You’ll only attract what you are, because we each carry an energetic vibration that varies from being lower to higher. In the universe like attracts like. Match your vibration with what you desire and it will suddenly appear. So become what you desire. Manage your finances better and you’ll feel wealthy. Obviously there is more to this, you’ll need to let go of a sense of poverty consciousness if you have that. Start watching what you say and think about money. If you say there is never enough, then there won’t be. Love yourself first and you’ll feel loved and respected, then you will be more discerning with who you engage with in relationships. Support yourself and you’ll feel supported and so on.

We have been brought up to believe that the solution to our problems or our happiness lies in the hands of others. We are constantly looking to the external to satisfy us. We really need to look within first. Our outer experiences are just mirroring our inner perceptions. As within, so without. Start watching for different results as you work on yourself. You will start attracting according to whatever perceptions you are holding inside of you. Also sometimes we start attracting what Florence Scovel Shinn describes in her writings as, ‘signs of land’. You want to attract a large sum of money and only receive a small discount or gift of money at first. Look at this as a positive move towards abundance. Or you want a date but the right person isn’t showing up, but you’ve been asked out by others, this is a sign that you are on the right path, keep going. Just keep being grateful for what shows up, and re define what you DO want. I always say ‘thank you, now I’m getting nearer to what I want’.

Write it down in detail. If you don’t know exactly what you want, then anything and everything will show up. Be very specific. An architect can’t afford to gloss over the details or their creation would collapse, and neither can you, not if you want to create what you really want.

Visualize it. Play it over and over in your imagination. Perfecting it as you go.

Bring up the emotions you want to feel when you have received what you want. E – motion is Energy in Motion. Put some energy into what you desire.

Believe it is possible. Drop the doubts, drop the fears.

Release your resistance to receiving it. Use this affirmation ‘I now release any resistance to: wealth, abundance, excellent health, loving or being loved, the right person, the right home, the right job etc.

Write out your environmental impact plan! No kidding, what affect will getting what you want affect you and everyone else in your life? When making conscious decisions we must take the view of the higher greater good of all concerned. How will others benefit from what you want?

Now take action. Build the foundations under those castles in the air. ‘If you want something you’ve never had, you must be willing to do something you’ve never done.’ Thomas Jefferson (Quote) If you want to move home, check out in detail where you want to move to. Get a snag list done up on the house you’d like. Find out the costs involved. Find out who you’ll need to help you with this. Go on a dating site, join a club, or take up a new hobby. Do a course, research, etc.

Gratitude: You must be grateful for where you already are with what you already have before you can appreciate anything new.

Share your ideas only with people you know will support you. It won’t help you to share with people who reinforce your fears or doubts. They will just help you to stay as you are in the realms of their comfort zone. I found that the people who had the most opinions about me and my life, have never really done anything with theirs, and they didn’t want me to do anything with mine. It kind of shows them up, and they don’t like that. Don’t allow anyone to squash your dreams, the anger and resentment you’ll carry is not worth it for your health and wellbeing.

Goals

Sometimes after doing this we may realize that we don’t want it after all, and that’s ok, just see this as a blessing and re focus on something else that you want. Remember that nothing will be 100% perfect forever. We are constantly changing our ideas of perfection. The only true perfection in life is death, it is final and complete. “If you look for perfection, you’ll never be content.”- Leo Tolstoy (Quote) A lot about creating what we want, is sometimes accepting something imperfect and improving on it where we can.

And finally, you gotta want what you want so much, that you have done all you can to help it to happen, that you just don’t care anymore! Yes you read that right. You reach a point in all of this, that you are content as you are, feeling very grateful for where you are now, knowing what you’d like to improve on it, and realizing that you’ve survived this long without it, and knowing that you can survive a little bit longer, that’s when it just all seems to fall into place, when you’re fully allowing it to! So do what you can and then let it go!

Happy Manifesting!

Paula is an Author / Hypnotherapist / Reiki Healer / Artist / Photographer, in Blessington Co. Wicklow. www.i-want-a-better-life.ie / paulaosullivan1@gmail.com / Phone 086 0848398 All her articles to date are on her blog www.paulaosullivan@wordpress.com

 


Climbing Out of the Abyss – Part 6

November 1, 2014

Mindfulness

Mindfulness

Previously we’ve discussed how thoughts, visualization, foods, disassociation and self-talk can help lead us out of depression. Now let’s explore mindfulness.

The word ‘Mindful’, means taking heed, or care, being conscious. And the word ‘Conscious’, means being aware and awake.

Most of us are not really aware or awake, we think we are, but we are really running on auto pilot, continuously being in a state of ‘Reaction’ or ‘Resistance’. Mindfulness means paying attention on purpose. Being here and now with our present experiences in a non-judgemental way. Nothing is perceived to be either good or bad. Situations can be thought about in many ways.

‘Reaction’

We are like a boat without oars, being pushed this and that way, as life throws stuff at us. Our reactions are based on thoughts about past experiences, or fearful thoughts of the future. We are rarely present in the now moment, yet that is the only time we have some control.

 ‘Resistance’

Something happens that we don’t like or want, and we set up resistance in our mind to it. When we resist something, our body and mind perceives this as a threat to the natural balance of things. We trigger the stress response and we stop our minds from finding solutions.

 

Tips for being mindful

 

  • When your thoughts go to the past or future, gently bring them into the present moment. Take a few slow deep breaths in and out. Notice your surroundings. Be kind and patient with yourself. Say ‘I’m ok now in this moment’
  • Develop a sense of gratitude. Say ‘I have more than enough’.
  • If you’re feeling angry, sad etc. do not judge the feeling, say ‘Oh here’s comes anger, what brought that on?’ In that mindful moment you have a chance to reflect or react in a different way than you did previously. You will no longer be reacting on auto pilot.
  • Do one thing at a time and be fully present with it. If you’re drinking or eating, taste, smell, notice texture etc. When washing the dishes, feel the suds, see the rainbow colours. In the rain, look at the droplets on a branch, there’s a tiny world reflected there. If walking, notice your feet connecting with the ground, feel the sun, or wind, warmth of your clothes, look at the sky. If with someone, listen carefully to what they say, really look at them, hear them. Be present.
  • If ill, in pain, depressed etc. Listen to your body, what’s it trying to tell you? If you’ve got a headache, ask yourself what was happening in your life prior to that? If you have pain, what is paining you in your life? What emotional conflicts have you not dealt with? What thoughts or emotions do you hold onto that might create pain for you. If you are getting frequent colds etc. your immune system has been weakened by stress, not nurturing yourself etc. Ignore it and other things may happen to draw your attention to where your body feels out of balance. If you’re depressed or feeling low, what are you resisting? What can you not accept? What can you not forgive?

With mindfulness, we can become aware and rest before our body makes us. We can create new meaning in our lives and improve the relationship with ourselves and others.

Part 7 Self- Esteem

Paula is an Author/ Hypnotherapist / Reiki Healer / Artist in Blessington Co. Wicklow. www.i-want-a-better-life.ie / paulaosullivan1@gmail.com / Phone 086 0848398 All her articles to date are on her blog www.paulaosullivan@wordpress.com


Remind me Once Again

July 30, 2012

 

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It’s really nothing personal you know… it’s just that we had a sacred contract to remind each other who we are… that’s all… we still have free will… we can choose the path we’ll travel… into the light … or into the darkness… it’s our choice.. it’s nothing personal.

 

I can be anyone…your child, your parent, your lover, your sister, your brother… I am the man who’s black, white, yellow, red, whose different skin colour bothers you…the person of another creed who doesn’t believe the same things you do… I fill you with fear don’t I? Because, I am different from you, or separate, or so you think, or so you believe.

 

I am the woman you can’t stand the sight of, maybe I’m ugly or overweight in your perception, I don’t fit into your concept of perfection, so I become the object of your contempt. Maybe I’m poor, perhaps I have an addiction, or I’m covered in tattoos, I’m the hobo on the bus, the homeless person lying in a cardboard house in the rain, you know, the one you avert your eyes at as you pass.

 

Let’s not make eye contact whatever you do, for then I’ll remind you, who you are. And you may not like that reminder, it might make you feel uncomfortable, make you feel like you should be doing more.

 

Walk on my friend, even if we didn’t connect or make eye contact this time, the truth is, you saw me there at my worst, or when I was vulnerable, or lost, or in pain, but I still reminded you, of who you are. And who you are, goes home with you, like a shadow, that never leaves, whispering uncertainty and doubts in your ears.

 

Many life times ago, we agreed to meet. I told you I would come.

 

I came to show you how to have compassion, but you chose to walk blindly by. I came to show you tolerance but you chose to react with intolerance. I came to teach you love but you closed your heart to me. I came to teach you patience but you couldn’t find the time.

 

It’s okay, don’t beat yourself up with remorse or regrets, I’ll come again, in another guise, and another, and another, I’ll keep coming to remind you, of who you are. And one day maybe you’ll see that.

 

Maybe you’ll see who you are, and maybe you’ll like what you see, and maybe you won’t. But you’ll see, and when you do, you’ll realize that, who you are, is a choice. And you’ll see that you make that choice, and that it doesn’t really matter what has gone before, because you cannot change the past, you can only change how you think about the past. But what really matters now, is what you are going to become now. This moment… ask yourself… who am I? Do I like what I see?

 

Are you bringing out the best in others or the worst?

Are your intentions skilful or unskilful?

Do you track the future possible consequences of your words and actions?

Are you out to harm or to heal the people you meet?

 

I am here to teach you that there is another way. I am here to remind you again, of who you are, today.

 

 

 


Unapologetically Yours – Re discovering your Authenticity

July 19, 2012

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Can you hear the whisper in the breeze? Come back, come back it implores, come back to source. Come back to love, come back to the old ways, to the simplicity, come back to your heart, and let your ego be quiet. Listen to me, listen to me it whispers, listen to me it implores, come back, come back, come back to source.

We’re born authentic, we just learn how not be, as we grow up. We learn that being ourselves pisses some people off, so we change, and we change, until we wake up one morning and no longer know who we really are. We are a montage of others expectations and desires and needs. It’s so sad.

Re discovering your authenticity takes time and patience. It requires a flexible approach. It’s difficult to know where to begin, it’s hard to know what kind of questions to ask, but start asking you must.

Being authentic means being genuine, reliable and trustworthy. Maybe that’s a good place to start. Ask yourself, am I any of these things, and if I’m not, that’s okay, but how can I get to be them? What do I need to do? And most importantly of all, do I really want to become these qualities? Or am I getting some form of payback by not being them? All our behaviours have some form of payback, otherwise we wouldn’t do them.

How do I become genuine? By being true to yourself first. Stop saying yes, when you really mean no. Stop doing or saying things that you know people what to hear or see. Become aware of what you really want to say or do. This doesn’t give you a licence to be uncaring, unhelpful, selfish or insensitive either! A genuine person will kindly explain in some instances why they don’t want to do something. I do it all the time, I say thanks but I’m not up for that at the moment, or I’m a bit drained right now, could you please ask someone else to do that, for example. The world goes on with or without you, and most people will respect your honesty, rather than your unwilling participation. Say what you mean and mean what you say. It takes awareness to do this. Become aware of the things you say or think, and question them, is it true, or is it something a friend, partner or parent always says? Does this really represent you? Chip away at all the bull, you’ll find yourself in there somewhere. I did.

How can I become reliable? Do what you say on the tin! When you align what you think, with what you say, with what you do. There will be no conflict inside of you, and if you say you’ll do something, or you’ll be somewhere, or you say you are a certain type of person, then you will be, because your thoughts, words and actions will show that. There will be harmony within.

How can I become trustworthy? Well, for a start, treat others as you would like to be treated. If you want to be let down, lied to, cheated on, used etc keep going as you are, if you’re like that. No one will trust you, except the odd fool, but even they will cop on eventually. Begin by becoming what you would like to experience with others. Be honest with yourself first. Know what you want and need, and communicate that as openly as possible with others, without fear of their disapproval. Develop an image of yourself as being trusted and being trusting. Take full responsibility for your actions, and stop blaming others, for the part you played.

Let go of your need for approval from others. Catch yourself out, when you do this. Become aware of it.  Most of us have this child inside us wanting to be seen as the good boy or girl! I laughed when I became aware of this in me. Now I couldn’t give two hoots if you approve of me or not, I do my own thing, it’s very liberating I can tell you.

I no longer worry about or care what anyone thinks. Of course there are limits, the world may not always understand you, there will always be someone who disapproves of you, or the way you think, or the way you dress etc. But when you are being authentic and true to yourself, that won’t really bother you too much, as you’ll see that the issue isn’t with you after all, as you now accept yourself… you’ll see that the issue is now with them, and it’s their problem to solve.

For now you are happy and authentic and unapologetically free!

I’ll leave you with two quotes.

“Real isn’t how you are made,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.’

‘Does it hurt?’ asked the Rabbit.

‘Sometimes,’ said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. ‘When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.’

‘Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,’ he asked, ‘or bit by bit?’

‘It doesn’t happen all at once,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”
― Margery WilliamsThe Velveteen Rabbit

“There is nothing more beautiful than seeing a person being themselves. Imagine going through your day being unapologetically you.”

― Steve MaraboliLife, the Truth, and Being Free


What Would Love Do Now?

July 19, 2012

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A while back I discovered a very useful principle that could be used with anyone and in most situations. The WWLDN (What would love do now) Principle lends an element of acceptance and empathy, that can create an oasis of calm for the eager practitioner.

Of course to practice this principle we must first be clear on exactly what love is.

So what is love?

Mmmmm, so many things spring to mind with the word love. Let’s keep it simple shall we?

Love is… patient… love is… kind… love is….understanding… love is supportive… love is…encouraging….love is… non judgemental…love is…non clinging… love is…non controlling…. love is…accepting… love is…gentle…. love is….forgiving… love is having a sense of humour and not taking things too personal… ok…. You see where I’m going with this?

The problem with most of us, is that we have been programmed most of our lives. We have been programmed to have rigid views and expectations. We see characters acting out scenarios on TV, showing us the way it should be. We see our parents, friends, family etc role modelling modes and opinions of accepted behaviour. And when something similar happens in our lives, we go into a kind of auto pilot response, of how we should be reacting, we don’t even think about it, and we can see or hear our mum, or our dad or whoever, in our heads, telling us how to argue with our spouses, partners, and friends. We hear those voices telling us not to let them away with it, or we see our TV characters behaviour in our minds and off we go, re creating some drama or other. Pretty scary huh! I think it is, and for a lot of my life it was exactly like that. Until I discovered, the WWLDN Principle.

So how does this change things?

Well…. Your kids are screaming at you and you are tempted to react like your mum, dad, friend etc. but you know it will mean you getting angry, maybe losing control again, and spending the rest of the day feeling guilty and apologizing, but knowing deep inside that you have damaged your relationship further, and that someday it will be too late to say sorry. So you pause for a moment and think What Would Love Do Now? And you think about what element of love is most appropriate in this situation. So maybe you’ll explore being kind, or being patient for example. And you notice that the anger dissipates, and over time your relationship heals.

Or your neighbour who always manages to push your buttons in a negative way and brings out the worst in you is moving in for the kill yet again and you’re fired up to give him/ her a piece of your mind, and you can feel the pressure in your head already as your blood pressure rises… and you pause for a moment and ask yourself… What Would Love Do Now? And again you explore the most appropriate component of love for this situation, so you may decide to just understand their point of view, or you may decide to be non controlling and let go of the need to be right. You might even bring some humour in and say to them, yes you’re right, I agree, and then walk away, watching their chin drop to the ground. Ego loves to be right, and if you let them be right without it becoming a personal issue for you, you might even get to have a little chuckle to yourself about the whole thing.

My life has changed in the most amazing ways since I started incorporating it into every interaction and situation. I can already see the difference of outcomes as compared to my pre WWLDN phase.

There are always opportunities to interrupt the way we’ve been programmed, and the WWLDN Principle is a great way to do this. Give it a go; see what kind of positive difference this makes in your life!


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