A Different Perspective

January 4, 2012

Written by Paula O’Sullivan

You’re standing in the room of your life, and even though it’s in darkness, you can clearly see all the cracks, you can see all the things that are wrong, you can see the unauthenticity of others, you can see the falseness, the façades, the injustices, and you are tired, disillusioned and in despair, and as you sigh at the imperfectness of it all, you catch sight of a glimmer of light in the corner of your eye, and as you step to the side slightly, you notice that there is another side to this room that you hadn’t noticed before.

It’s so bright it almost blinds you, for you have been in a dark room for a long, long time. And as your eyes adjust, you see that you are in a perfectly delightful room, so well lit, that there are no shadows at all. Everything is perfect here. In this part of the room, everyone is authentic, they’re the real deal, they say what they mean and they mean what they say, they talk the talk and they walk the walk, and you are amazed, in this room, there is a wonderful feeling of contentment and happiness and bliss, you feel that you could almost stay here forever and enjoy and escape into this euphoric experience, and then you get a sneaking feeling that this isn’t real, and you remember the dark place that you were before, and somehow that still feels more real to you, and as you are thinking of stepping back to where you were before, something shiny catches your eye from another part of this room.

And as you step to the side slightly yet again you are amazed to see a whole wall covered in a very large mirror, and reflected in this very large mirror are the two parts of the room that you have already seen, but the view also reflects you, and your reflection seems huge and the two other parts seem very far away, and as you step nearer, your reflection looms in front of you, and your focus on your reflection becomes so clear that it is the only thing you can see. And you start thinking about the people in the dark part of the room, their falseness, their façades, their unauthenticity, then your thoughts switch to the people in the bright part of the room, how genuine they were, how loving and non judgemental they were, and you ask yourself, ‘Where do I fit in ? You say to yourself ‘I am neither of these two types; I am neither all good, nor all bad.’

And the two parts of the room fade out completely and you see yourself for what you are, you look deep inside and ask yourself questions, and they come hard and fast and you find it hard to come up with quick answers…’ Who am I?’ ‘Am I authentic?’ Do I talk my talk and walk my walk?’ ‘Am I real or a façade?’ ‘Who am I?’ ‘Am I judging others to avoid facing myself and the changes I have to make to better myself and my world?’ ‘Who am I?’ ‘Am I putting my life on hold, making excuses and refusing to participate in my world because of all the falseness I see?’ ‘Who am I?’ ‘Does my life have no meaning, simply because I haven’t given it some myself?’

And the questions keep coming, and you manage to answer some, and the rest play around in your mind, and you see that it doesn’t really matter who is in what room or what they represent, that the most important person in the room is you, and what you stand for, what you believe in, your authenticity, who you really are is what counts. Who you really are and how you are affecting your world, whether you are sharing your despair or your hope, and you see that it is possible to come at your world from any corner of this room, from any perspective you choose,  and you suddenly see everything in the mirror, the light part of the room, the dark part of the room, and you see you, and you see that it is all just a reflection, that what you are putting out, you are getting back, and when you look into the dark you see the shadows, when you look into the light, you see the brightness, but when you look at you, you see the truth, and you are amazed, and you catch sight of the last remaining  part of the room behind you, and you turn around and see a door opening, and you realise that it is all an illusion of your own making, that you can  focus on the bad, and that will be your experience, or you can focus on the good, and that will be your experience, or you can focus on you, and if you can be brutally honest with yourself, you can step out of the illusion…

….. And you  take a few steps forward, pause and look back for a moment with no regrets, and you walk through the doorway…… to reality !

 

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Unconditionally Yours

January 1, 2012

Written by Paula O’Sullivan

Who am I?

When ‘Ego’ meets me, it does not ‘Get me’; it does not see where I am coming from. I am a creator of bridges not walls. I do not measure, I do not score points. There is no hidden scoreboard.  I seek to give, not for what I can receive back, but just because I can. I am your supportive friend, always wanting the best for you. I don’t do ‘Envy’, I have no need for that. Your success is my success. When you shine, I shine. Your joy is my joy. I do not lose when you have achieved your desires, it merely gives me hope that what is for me, is also on the way, and in the appropriate time it will arrive, and we can rejoice again my friend.

Who am I?

I have no need for expectations; you do not need to fit into any pre conceived notions of who you should be, in order to please me. I accept you as you are, because I love and accept myself firstly, in this now moment, you are good enough, and I am good enough, you are where you should be, and I am where I should be. I do not ‘Want’ anything from you, I have no hidden agenda. I have no motives. I do not seek to gain anything. I do not have a void to fill, I am whole and complete and perfect as I am, I seek only to add joy to all my interactions, I am the icing on your cake, you can live without me, but life is so much nicer with me. And yet as a giver, I allow myself to receive. Giving and receiving a natural flow of energy from divine to divine.

Who am I?

I cherish your freedom, I do not need to own you, or change you or make you more like I am. I celebrate our differences, enjoy our similarities, I see beliefs as an individual thing, neither side is right nor wrong, they just ‘Are’.

Who am I?

I don’t do ‘Petty’, and mind games are not for me. I am open and honest in all interactions, life is easier that way. I do not hold back. Moments are precious and fleeting. If I think you look nice I tell you. If I think you are amazing, I tell you. I give you my time. I know I have nothing to lose by helping you to feel good or helping you move forward towards your success. I do not torment myself endlessly with thoughts of what will people think if I say that, do that, or see myself as being foolish. If what I say or do will make you feel better, then I don’t think twice, I don’t hold back, if it won’t, then I won’t say it…. I won’t do it. Everything for the Greater Highest Good…my choices are easy.

Who am I?

I celebrate your freedom, your independence, your autonomy, your empowerment, I have no need to control you or keep you down, we are equal, I want you to walk beside me always. I want to witness your unfolding, your blossoming into the wonderful being that you are becoming, not because I want it to be, but because it is your time to blossom. I am the same with all, stranger, friend or foe. I am consistent and reliable and predictable with all and in all situations.

So who am I?

I am ‘Unconditional Love’, and I am ‘Unconditionally Yours’ any moment you choose me.

 


Amazing You

December 26, 2011

Written by Paula O’Sullivan

Has anyone told you recently how amazing you are? No? Has anyone told you lately how very beautiful you are? No? I can hear the grumbling, ‘No one ever tells me I am amazing, no one ever tells me I am beautiful, in fact I may as well not be here, I am invisible’. Some of you will of course be able to answer yes, but for those of you out there who had a definite’ No’ answer, this is for you!

What if I told you that there is someone in your life right now, who could tell you those things? I can hear your derisive laughter,’ This gal is crazy’, right? You’re thinking, ‘This gal is a few sandwiches short of a picnic!’

Well you’re of course free to believe what ever you want to believe, but before you go, can I ask you one more question? How would your life change if someone told you that you were amazing and beautiful regularly, if someone told you that you really count, that your participation mattered? How would you feel? Would things be different for you, would you be happier knowing that you were amazing and beautiful and that you were important in the scheme of things?

Would anything be possible? Would doors open where there were only walls previously? Would you spirit soar with joy instead of walking around in misery and discontent?

The ‘someone’ in your life who can tell you that you are amazing and beautiful is you.

Oh I know you’re thinking, who am I to think I’m amazing and beautiful isn’t that getting above myself here? I’ve always been told not to get above myself. The  voices of the past come crashing in and you can remember being told by everyone, the message was so clear, it was ok for others to tell you, but if you started to believe it, that wasn’t a good thing was it ? Now for a moment ask yourself, why is it not good to believe that you are amazing and beautiful? How does that serve you or others? It doesn’t! And why wait for others to recognise something, that you can recognise yourself? Once you start feeling, amazing, beautiful and that you count, others will start to notice it too. And even if they don’t you will feel really good regardless. So you’ll be less at the mercy of others, you won’t have to worry about people making you feel good or bad, as you’ll already know how amazing you are ! This puts a different perspective into our lives.

This isn’t about the ego, this isn’t about being arrogant, or feeling superior or anything like that. It’s about waking up each day and telling yourself that you are amazing, beautiful and that you count. It’s about thinking if these things are true, then how can you be amazing , beautiful and count, it’s about seeing that once you believe this about yourself, that you can add to the world you live in, in a very positive way.

So close your eyes for a moment, say ‘I am amazing, I am beautiful and I count’, now open your eyes and step forward, the world needs someone like you!

26/12/11


The Gift of You

December 19, 2011

Written by Paula O’ Sullivan

At the time of writing this article, it’s the Season of giving in some parts of the world. It’s also, I may add, a time of great worry and stress for many people, as they try to live up to the material expectations of their loved ones. This can lead to feelings of disempowerment, despair and helplessness, and my message for you is, that it doesn’t have to be that way. It is only that way because we have bought into the illusion of it all for far too many years. Don’t get me wrong, if you’re perfectly happy the way things are, then I wish you well, for the remainder of you though, I just wanted to share this message about the greatest gift you can ever give.

This greatest gift is free, but I’m not going to tell you that it’s worth nothing, it’s actually quite valuable. This gift can be given at any time of year, and it works best when you do this. This greatest gift is the ‘Gift of You. Now before you lose interest, you’ve probably heard something like this before, but this is my gift to you, so I hope you stay with me for just another moment or two.

This year I decided that I would give little gifts of me to those around me, now I’m not blowing my own trumpet, I just want to give you some ideas on how you can share your gift. I write articles to share positive messages and uplift the readers, besides from blogging, I print out a few and drop them into my local library, I write poetry and  had one about words of comfort for the grieving, which I sent a few copies of into a local funeral home. I’ve read poetry for the local over 60’s group and in our library; I set up a meet up group for people to make new friends. I also set up a skills exchange, so that people could barter, I have offered some Hypnotherapy sessions free in exchange for web design, holistic services, gardening work etc…I also paint, so some people are getting paintings this year. I’m recording some poetry and stories on Cd from my computer and giving them to friends and family. The other gifts I give are my time, my kindness, my smile, my support.

What ‘Gift of You’, can you give? Have you a good reading voice, perhaps you could give a few minutes to read stories or poetry to some children in hospital or to the elderly. Perhaps you have come across a nice poem or affirmation that you could share with someone, or put it into a frame and give to a local nursing home for example. I came across a very nice idea from a friend, who suggested making up a little booklet of vouchers offering things like grocery shopping, ironing, dog walking, childminding, gardening, diy, coffee etc, maybe you are good at some craft, flower arranging, wood work, metal work, photography, these are nice gifts to give . Maybe you could give your time to some local support group or set one up?

The ‘Gift of You’ not only comes from any talents you may have, but also from any hardships that you have survived and coped with. These are areas where you can help others, whether it is bereavement, illness, unemployment, redundancy, divorce, abuse, depression, etc..etc.. What have you learnt through your experience that could be a gift to others to help them cope, to help them get through, to help uplift and inspire them?

If you think about this for a while, you’ll see that you are abundant with things that you can give, and you will come to see that the greatest gift you can give is YOU!


Prevention is better than Cure

October 25, 2011

Written by Paula O’Sullivan

At the time of writing this, we’ve had some pretty heavy rain showers where I live. It was during one of the prolonged heavy deluges that I chanced to look out the window, and in dismay realized that the drain at the end of my driveway was blocked, causing a flood. I could see that the flood was spreading and was working its way down the street and was now outside a neighbours house two doors down.

Action was needed and even though I was warm and cosy indoors, I knew if I didn’t do something at that moment, that I would be causing a great inconvenience not only to myself but to others too, as the flood would continue to spread. So out came the wellington boots and the rain jacket, and armed with a garden fork and a spade I waded in. Within about ten minutes of loosening the debris, I cleared the blockage and all was well.

Now the reason I’m telling you this, is, that all through the summer, I had noticed that the shore was blocked, I could see that the leaves from the overhead trees had over time, turned into compost and had blocked the shore solidly. I passed it many times and said, I’ll do it another day. And every little rain shower would cause a little flood just outside my door, and still I didn’t act, until I was forced to take action.

This got me thinking about how many of us go through life like this. We notice something small going wrong with our car and we ignore it, hope it will go away, and then eventually the car breaks down, or we notice that things aren’t right in a relationship, and we ignore it and hope it’ll resolve itself, and it doesn’t and the relationship fall apart, or we notice that we are feeling tired lately, and we are getting colds, or headaches, or tummy trouble etc and we ignore it, hope it’ll get better and then our body protests, and we become ill. I have many clients who come to me to quit smoking after they’ve had a heart attack etc.

I’m asking myself, are we all addicted to drama or what? We notice these things, we keep telling ourselves I hope my car doesn’t break down, or my relationship break up, or my health doesn’t fail, or in my case my drain doesn’t flood the neighbourhood ! And yet we don’t think in terms of prevention do we? We wait until our backs are up against the wall and we can’t go any further and we are forced to face the situation.

What I mean in terms of prevention is this, in my case, check the drain regularly for debris,  get your car serviced, keep your body, mind, and spirit well, find a good balance between rest, exercise and nutrition, get  medical check ups, check in with your thoughts, are they making you feel good or bad ? Choose thoughts that make you feel good. Think in terms of being a survivor who copes, rather than a victim who gets picked on, if you believe life isn’t fair, then that’ll be your reality. I’ve been there I know this! Ask yourself, how best can I cope with what happens. Don’t put off doing something you’d love to do, this will bring your spirit into balance and help you feel good. Deal with stress before it deals with you! We get so caught up in the chaos of it all. If you’re getting tired, having headaches, frequent colds etc, your body is telling you to slow down, take it easy, find a balance before you trip over!

If something is not quite right in a relationship, communicate with EACH other! I know so many people who will spend hours with friends, telling them what is wrong with their relationships, yes male and female, but they won’t tell their partners, oh no, they have to mind read, they should already know this shouldn’t they ? NO, they don’t, many of us have to work on building our psychic abilities, and most of us can’t read minds! Tell them what you think and feel or forever drift apart!

I’ll leave you this quote. ‘To insure good health: Eat lightly, breathe deeply, live moderately, cultivate cheerfulness, and maintain an interest in life.” William Londen


Tapping into our Inner Power

October 18, 2011

Written by Paula O’Sullivan

Our power comes not from suppressing others but from uplifting them -Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche (Quote)

It is only the fear that we have something to lose that makes us try to suppress another person. Real power is the power of love. It is stronger than fear and has a much nicer effect. When we become aware of this inner power, we awaken to a new world, it begins with self love, not egoistical, arrogant, vain or selfish, simply put, just being kind to ourselves, saying nice things to ourselves, being supportive of ourselves…why?

Because if we don’t actually like ourselves, if we rise each morning and look critically at ourselves in the mirror and don’t like what we see, if we speak to ourselves in a way that we would be mortified if anyone could hear us, if we say things to ourselves that we would never dream of saying to our friends, I’m talking about the unkind things we say to ourselves, if we are doing this daily then we will find it difficult to sincerely uplift others, we may feel that we can’t actually even give a simple compliment to someone and if someone gives us one, we feel we don’t deserve it. Now we can’t give and we can’t receive. Are we happy ? Some of us are just unaware, drifting through life day by day, maybe have a drink or take to drugs or other forms of escapism to dull the pain, some lash out, unhappy and bitter. Some become numb, die inside.

Some of us become armed with expectations and special conditions we greet our world and the world must play by our rules and if it doesn’t we get hurt and the cycle of fear continues. So in our fear we start grabbing, looking out for number one, dog eat dog, and we start thinking if anyone is going to get suppressed well it ain’t going to be me ! So we put down another person and we feel good, or do we ? It’s a constant battle. This isn’t power, this is weakness.

Real power is love, loving yourself, accepting yourself, changing attitudes, perspectives if necessary, learning and growing, free of expectations, free of special conditions, allowing people to be themselves, not judging, not criticizing, yourself or others, learning to give not grab, seeing that there is abundance, not lack, only fear sees lack, seeing what you can do to help others, without expecting something back, fear tells us we’ve given too much, love tells us to give regardless of return. Start with yourself, see that you have a power within you that can help our world, see that we are one and the same, each human, equal, there is no class system in the graveyard and we’re all heading for the same destination, we do not have to suppress another to be powerful, there is a better way, there is nothing to lose, we do not have to listen and be ruled by fear. We do not have to listen to fear telling us that it’s not ok to be kind to ourselves, we can choose to listen to love, the power within, and we can choose in any moment to start working with each other not against, and we can choose to start uplifting not suppressing. If you’re not uplifting yourself are you suppressing yourself? If you are suppressing yourself, are you able to really, truly uplift others? Think about it!


Free from Fear

October 16, 2011

Written by Paula O’Sullivan

Looking back on my life so far, I can see that most of the important decisions I had made in the past were led by fear. Whether it was, relationships…I must get married… or I’ll be left on the shelf… I must have kids… or I may get too old… I must buy a house now… before prices go up…. I must put up with that behaviour… or I’ll be left on my own…I must not apply for that job or course… I may not be smart enough….my life was full of must and shoulds… and all for the wrong reasons…. fear of something is not a good basis to make decisions on… and looking back now… even though I can be grateful for the hard lessons fear has taught me… I can see that my life is very different now…. and I’m much happier and can make wiser choices and decisions, because I’m free of fear.

I’m sharing this with you now, just in case you are like me as I was then, maybe it’ll save you some unnecessary heartache, and yes I know we must all walk our own paths, but if my insights help you in any way then I’ll feel good inside, my effort has been worthwhile.

So how do we become free from fear? I mean it’s all around us, we are being bombarded with worse case scenarios everywhere we look, television, newspapers, radio, even most conversations overheard, contain fear, and it’s so easy to become overwhelmed in it all and to allow it to affect us in so many ways.

Well my understanding of fear is this: We picture something and then we picture ourselves not being able to cope, not being able to handle the situation, we see ourselves, weak and powerless and a victim…. as losers not winners…. and when we do this, fear grips us tightly and won’t let go !

To become free of fear we need to start putting pictures into our minds of ourselves coping, being strong, imagining the best possible outcomes, the best possible situations, and yes sometimes thinking ahead, and saying to ourselves, ‘well if this happens I will see myself coping in this or that way’, and putting strong pictures in our minds of being a great survivor, knowing that we will handle anything that happens. Very few decisions are actually life or death decisions. And while some things happen that make us feel uncomfortable, it’s usually not the end of the world, even though it may temporarily seem like that! If we take the time, we can reason most things out and take the phrase ‘wouldn’t it be awful if?’ out of our conversations and replace it with the phrase ‘wouldn’t it be brilliant if?’ instead. Because sometimes we are just not content enough that something has gone wrong, we have to develop that fear even more by saying to ourselves ‘ and what if this happens, and what if that happens too ?’ And we make the pictures more vivid in our minds and they become worse than the reality, and we find it more difficult to deal with, as these brighter pictures evoke stronger feelings of fear, which make it appear more real. And so putting the better solution pictures into your mind will work in a similar way over time only they will evoke powerful feelings of inner strength and courage which will make you feel really good., so I just wanted to make you aware that you have a choice of what pictures you can to play in your mind and how they can effect you.

I’m reminded of this quote “When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened.” – Winston Churchill

If you can see yourself coping, if you can see yourself surviving in your minds eye, then you are already half way there, and you too can be free from fear!

16/10/11


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