Climbing Out of the Abyss – Part 23

July 11, 2017

Divided Mind – Taming the Ego

By Paula O’Sullivan

 

Taming Ego

Photo courtesy of pexels.com

 

‘We must go beyond the constant clamor of ego, beyond the tools of logic and reason, to the still, calm place within us: the realm of the soul’ – Deepak Chopra

 In order to tame the ego, we must first know a little bit about it, and why anyone would even want to tame it. Notice I said tame, and not destroy it, as we need it in some ways to know ourselves as an individual. If you look in the dictionary, you may very well be still confused as to what it is. It is described as; a person’s sense of self-esteem or self-importance, the part of the mind that mediates between the conscious and the unconscious and is responsible for reality testing and a sense of personal identity, and, a conscious thinking subject. Interesting descriptions.

There are many ancient stories that refer to the beginning of the ego / divided mind, in mankind. Some relate to Atlantis, the Annunaki, and the creator gods. There are references in the bible too.  The Adam and Eve story refers to the creation of the Adamic and Eve race and the subsequent division of mind and the discovery of good and evil, or more appropriately, awareness and unawareness. Apparently the original souls that came to earth, were of a higher consciousness and were fully aware. The duality or division of mind that ego created, led us out of paradise, not poor Eve! We’re in paradise or heaven when we’re fully aware, we’re in hell when we’re not! I’ll explain more about this in a future article.

To make it easier to understand, let’s consider that Ego stands for Edging God / or Goodness Out. If we were like the original souls, before the fall, we would have a higher consciousness and awareness of ourselves and others. We would make more decisions and choices based on love and compassion. We would only see the connections between souls. We would recognize the similarities we all share in this earth school.

Well the good news is, that we are like the original souls, we all have an inherent goodness in us, a light, an awareness, a conscience, or Con – Science (science of the heart)

However for a long, long time we have been conditioned to exist from the perspective of the ego.

The ego is our lower, baser self, it’s all about the ‘Me’ part of us, and self – preservation. The higher part of ourselves, the ‘I’ is the soul, and is about the interconnectedness of all things.

How were we conditioned?

We’ve been encouraged to believe in borders, flags, nationalities, patriotism, and differences. Cautioned to ignore our intuition (tuition from within) and to be skeptic of it. The religious and political stories we’ve been told have separated us from ourselves and others. All arguments, all wars spring from ego, the need to be right at all costs.

We were told Eve was to blame, this started a patriarchal system that is still alive and kicking today.  Women are still being treated as second class citizens around the world. Yes the men did and still do terrible things, they have been conditioned that way. Women do awful things too. In unawareness, in ego mind, we are separated from our soul’s highest intentions.

We were told that the God we believe in is outside of us, and that we’re not worthy enough to even gather up the crumbs from under the table of that entity. If we were encouraged to believe that entity was within each of us, we might just feel it important to respect everyone. We’d all be sacred then wouldn’t we?

Far too many of us were brought up mostly in an unloving manner, with a social myth about ‘sparing the rod and spoiling the child’. We now know that this way of parenting creates people who are unable to love, to connect to themselves and others. It creates people who are dependent and prone to depression, suicide and addictions. It creates people who feel they are flawed, disconnected and unworthy.

Our school systems are primarily geared towards left brained learning. Most of it is academic, analytical, rational stuff. From an early age our minds are crammed with useless shite, of little or no use in our everyday lives after we leave. We are taught to listen and repeat, and not taught to think and reason for ourselves.

We are taught to ridicule the imagination. ‘It’s only your imagination’- (you’re just a feckin looney!)

Perhaps psychology was introduced to highlight and control those fucked up individuals among us who didn’t conform to left brain conditioning. If you’re a right brained creative or psychic etc. you’ll be seen as a weirdo, more separation. Don’t worry if this depresses you, they have a pill for that!

Look around you at your world if you don’t believe me for proof of ego mind in action. Poverty, hunger, greed, wars, bigotry, racism, sectarianism, pollution, slavery, crimes, mental health issues (gentle souls get depressed, in this unloving world of ego. You rarely hear of egotistical psychopaths getting depressed do you?) Pornography (this separates males and females from forming connected sacred sexual relationships) and on and on the list goes!

Is this the kind of world we want for ourselves and our children and grandchildren?

So how do we tame our ego, how do we begin to heal the divided mind?

  • Learn to love, accept and respect yourself, then you’ll begin to love accept and respect others, you will see the connection between us all.
  • Start to value your imagination. It’s the greatest gift we’ve all been given, use it wisely and only allow what you would like to happen into it. Know that what you wish for others, you wish for yourself.
  • Pay attention to your intuition and your conscience, that’s your soul prompting you to other alternative more aware choices.
  • If you are in two minds about some decision, ask how this will affect all concerned, if it hurts or harms another person or being, choose carefully.
  • Practice using your right brain. Stories, music, art, being creative, exploring imagination etc. We need both sides of our brain, we’re like an aeroplane flying on one wing otherwise.
  • Meditate, and listen to the promptings of your higher self. There is a wiser, less mean part of us. We can be cold hearted beasts or warm hearted angels, or somewhere in between.
  • Catch yourself trying to be right, trying to win at the cost of another, trying to destroy someone else, by gossiping etc. Catch yourself out.
  • Find the ‘I’ that is observing the ‘Me’ Find the wiser self, watch the ego play its little games.

Part 24 – The Relationship Bank

Paula is an Author / Hypnotherapist / Reiki Healer / Life Coach / Artist / Photographer, in Blessington Co. Wicklow. www.i-want-a-better-life.ie / paulaosullivan1@gmail.com / Phone 086 0848398 All her articles to date are on her blog www.paulaosullivan@wordpress.com

 

 


Building Your Dreams

January 17, 2016

 Manifesting What You Really Want

By Paula O’Sullivan

Castles in the air

“If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be.

Now put the foundations under them.” – Henry David Thoreau, Walden (Quote)

Many of us have a vague idea of what we want. Sometimes we do get what we asked for, but it turns out to be, not what we really wanted after all. Sometimes we don’t even seem to be getting anywhere near to what we desire. It can be a frustrating venture.

I’d like to share some of the things that are helping me to manifest what I want. Ok I’m a work in progress here, and I’m no expert, which is a good thing, as I’m constantly open to trying new and different approaches, so I’ll keep sharing as I learn and get results.

I’d like you to begin thinking of yourself as an architect from now on. What does an architect do?  They take the time to formulate an idea of what they want to create. Once they know what they want, they put some ideas on paper. They believe it is possible, otherwise it won’t happen. They check out the environmental impact of their plan. Then they go into the details. What materials will they use? How much will it cost? Who will they need to help? Ok you get the idea, ready? Let’s go!

Everything in your world has been created from thoughts. Unbelievable huh? Look around you… the clothes you wear, the car, the computer, the pathways you walk on, the building you live or work in, the chair, the bed, all the gadgets etc. Yes! Even you were a thought in someone’s mind at one stage, in my case an unwanted thought, but hey that’s life!

But it doesn’t end there. What about your life right now? The relationships you have or don’t have. The way people treat you. The things you do or don’t do? How you feel about life and your experiences. Your health, your wealth or lack of them? Somewhere you had a thought that led you here. Our beliefs are just thoughts we keep thinking over and over, and these can become our conscious or subconscious reactions to things. These can affect our behaviour and the actions we take or don’t take.

The good news is that if everything in our lives was created by our thoughts and beliefs, then we can change it. Thoughts can be changed, and with different thoughts about things, we will take different actions and form different behaviours, which will create something different. As Albert Einstein said, ‘We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them’.

So the first thing we must do is:

Decide what you want to create. Think about the architect, be specific. Why do you want it? What do you think gaining this will give you? The reason I ask is this, some people want more money, but approximately 70 – 95 % of lottery winners become broke within 5 years and are worse off. Some people who enter new relationships end up feeling they are further from experiencing what they wanted. Some people who change jobs find they have re-entered a similar or worse situation than before.

Sort yourself out first: If you can’t manage your finances now, then winning a large sum won’t change that. Learn how to do it now, so that if you do attract large sums of money, you won’t be a statistic of those who go broke again.

Work on yourself: If you have low self- esteem and no healthy boundaries now, don’t expect that a new relationship or work situation will change that. If you don’t love and respect yourself, don’t expect others to. If you don’t make the time to look after and nurture your wants and needs, then no one else will make sure that you get it. Well this has been my experience anyway. We only get treated the way we allow ourselves to be treated. You’ll only attract what you are, because we each carry an energetic vibration that varies from being lower to higher. In the universe like attracts like. Match your vibration with what you desire and it will suddenly appear. So become what you desire. Manage your finances better and you’ll feel wealthy. Obviously there is more to this, you’ll need to let go of a sense of poverty consciousness if you have that. Start watching what you say and think about money. If you say there is never enough, then there won’t be. Love yourself first and you’ll feel loved and respected, then you will be more discerning with who you engage with in relationships. Support yourself and you’ll feel supported and so on.

We have been brought up to believe that the solution to our problems or our happiness lies in the hands of others. We are constantly looking to the external to satisfy us. We really need to look within first. Our outer experiences are just mirroring our inner perceptions. As within, so without. Start watching for different results as you work on yourself. You will start attracting according to whatever perceptions you are holding inside of you. Also sometimes we start attracting what Florence Scovel Shinn describes in her writings as, ‘signs of land’. You want to attract a large sum of money and only receive a small discount or gift of money at first. Look at this as a positive move towards abundance. Or you want a date but the right person isn’t showing up, but you’ve been asked out by others, this is a sign that you are on the right path, keep going. Just keep being grateful for what shows up, and re define what you DO want. I always say ‘thank you, now I’m getting nearer to what I want’.

Write it down in detail. If you don’t know exactly what you want, then anything and everything will show up. Be very specific. An architect can’t afford to gloss over the details or their creation would collapse, and neither can you, not if you want to create what you really want.

Visualize it. Play it over and over in your imagination. Perfecting it as you go.

Bring up the emotions you want to feel when you have received what you want. E – motion is Energy in Motion. Put some energy into what you desire.

Believe it is possible. Drop the doubts, drop the fears.

Release your resistance to receiving it. Use this affirmation ‘I now release any resistance to: wealth, abundance, excellent health, loving or being loved, the right person, the right home, the right job etc.

Write out your environmental impact plan! No kidding, what affect will getting what you want affect you and everyone else in your life? When making conscious decisions we must take the view of the higher greater good of all concerned. How will others benefit from what you want?

Now take action. Build the foundations under those castles in the air. ‘If you want something you’ve never had, you must be willing to do something you’ve never done.’ Thomas Jefferson (Quote) If you want to move home, check out in detail where you want to move to. Get a snag list done up on the house you’d like. Find out the costs involved. Find out who you’ll need to help you with this. Go on a dating site, join a club, or take up a new hobby. Do a course, research, etc.

Gratitude: You must be grateful for where you already are with what you already have before you can appreciate anything new.

Share your ideas only with people you know will support you. It won’t help you to share with people who reinforce your fears or doubts. They will just help you to stay as you are in the realms of their comfort zone. I found that the people who had the most opinions about me and my life, have never really done anything with theirs, and they didn’t want me to do anything with mine. It kind of shows them up, and they don’t like that. Don’t allow anyone to squash your dreams, the anger and resentment you’ll carry is not worth it for your health and wellbeing.

Goals

Sometimes after doing this we may realize that we don’t want it after all, and that’s ok, just see this as a blessing and re focus on something else that you want. Remember that nothing will be 100% perfect forever. We are constantly changing our ideas of perfection. The only true perfection in life is death, it is final and complete. “If you look for perfection, you’ll never be content.”- Leo Tolstoy (Quote) A lot about creating what we want, is sometimes accepting something imperfect and improving on it where we can.

And finally, you gotta want what you want so much, that you have done all you can to help it to happen, that you just don’t care anymore! Yes you read that right. You reach a point in all of this, that you are content as you are, feeling very grateful for where you are now, knowing what you’d like to improve on it, and realizing that you’ve survived this long without it, and knowing that you can survive a little bit longer, that’s when it just all seems to fall into place, when you’re fully allowing it to! So do what you can and then let it go!

Happy Manifesting!

Paula is an Author / Hypnotherapist / Reiki Healer / Artist / Photographer, in Blessington Co. Wicklow. www.i-want-a-better-life.ie / paulaosullivan1@gmail.com / Phone 086 0848398 All her articles to date are on her blog www.paulaosullivan@wordpress.com

 


Can ‘Love’ be a Verb?

February 10, 2015

Love is a verb

Most of us have been conditioned into believing that ‘Love’ is something external. It just happens to us, we fall in love or someone falls in love with us. We don’t share any sense of responsibility regarding love. It’s a feeling that just takes us over and can leave us just as quickly.

I saw a post on facebook recently that stated, ‘don’t expect people to love you, sure they don’t even love themselves’. Is this true? I suspect in the majority of cases it is.

For me anyway it was kinda like that. My mum told me frequently in the early years how much of a surprise I was to her, she hadn’t been expecting to have any more children, she meant no harm in saying it, but I grew up not feeling wanted, not loved and somewhat abandoned emotionally. My parents didn’t find it easy to express love, they seemed kind of detached. It is said that we will seek what we’ve never had, so I sought love, I sought support, and I sought people who would prove to me that I was wanted. I played the same scenes over and over throughout my life, different faces, but the same disheartening results.

I would arrive at every new relationship armed with wants and needs, a giant gaping void inside my heart looking to be filled, looking to be made complete, looking for someone to give me what I didn’t have myself, but there was always something missing, and I didn’t know what that was.

It wasn’t until my marital relationship of 17 years broke up, that I began to question my beliefs about love.

I realized that I hadn’t viewed ‘Love’ as a verb, an ‘action’ word. I had seen it as something you got from others. Had I been seeking to ‘get’ not ‘give’, all my life? ‘Perhaps if I had brought what I could give, in more abundance, than my expectations of what I could get, would this have changed some of my experiences?’ I asked myself. But I also became aware that in my desperate need for love and acceptance, I had put everyone else’s needs first as I didn’t feel worthy enough to ask for what I wanted.  I still couldn’t be sure, there was still that emptiness, the something missing inside me. Most of us just want to love and be loved in return, we want people to be nice to us, to respect us, to understand us, to support us when we need support. We want to feel wanted, not abandoned in our times of need.

But what if we are not loving ourselves first? What if we don’t support, respect or we abandon ourselves on a regular basis? What if we can’t even keep the promises we make to ourselves, let alone the ones we make to others? Can we really expect others to give us what we don’t already give to ourselves? Are we all just mirroring those unhealed parts of ourselves back and forth with others? And what if we only feel loved if others tell us we are? Is our worth tied up in that ?Then we’re in real trouble I think, you only have to look at the Jesus story to see that, one week people will be celebrating us, the next they’ll be wishing us a speedy demise ! How can any of us really be there for anyone else, if we’re not there for ourselves first?

It was with trying to find answers to these questions that I began to change my views about ‘Love’.

If I wanted to feel loved, I would have to learn how to love myself first. I needed to develop a strong central core of love inside of me, one that didn’t crumble at each rejection. That meant learning to like and accept who I was at that time. It was a difficult process. I had spent 44 years telling myself things like, I was ugly, not worthy of love, and that I was stupid etc. etc. There was nothing I liked about myself. Reading Louise Hay’s book, ‘You can heal your life’ really helped me at that time. She encouraged people to look in a mirror and actually like what they saw, among other deep work. It took me a long time to like and accept who I was. This work is emotionally painful but well worth it. I gradually accepted who I was and had been. I also became aware of aspects of my personality that weren’t serving me or anyone else for the better.

Learning to love yourself is a very transformative process. As you begin to love yourself, you stop and reconsider those things that might harm yourself, or others. You begin to observe your thoughts, your behaviours and your words. I took a personal oath to ‘Do no harm’. I began to see the sacredness of all life, mine and others, human, animal and environmental too. I began to see the effect that I was having on myself and others and I began to live, to think, to speak and to behave more consciously. I found what nourishes the soul.

And no, people didn’t suddenly come rushing into my life to support, love, respect and be there for me, some did, some didn’t, but it didn’t matter anymore, because I was there for myself, I respectfully stopped caring about peoples’ opinions of me, and while I recognised that emotional independence was better that emotional dependence, I still also knew that the best to aim for was emotional interdependence, which is when people are there for each other and themselves at the same time, both giving and receiving freely without conditions or expectations. Both wanting the very best for all concerned, celebrating life, not destroying it. From then on I chose to spend time with people who were living consciously more often than those who weren’t.

So to make Love a verb, I decided to just love. I began to practice listening better (stay with me, I’m a work in progress) I began to try to understand others before I expected to be understood. I sought to see what I could give in every situation rather than what I could get. Instead of looking at how useful people could be to me, I began to see how useful I could be to them instead, in every interaction. In the hope that I could leave others happier and better off than when I found them. A kind word of encouragement, a friendly smile, a genuine compliment. No, not to get anything, not to gain ground or friendship, not to get people to like me, or to be persuasive or manipulative,  and not in a premeditative way, only ever spontaneously, just so that I could practice being loving to all, yes even those who were not nice.

We are all working within the realms and limitations of our current awareness. We are all doing the best we can with what we know, when we know better, we do better. Knowing this, helped me to forgive my parents. They did not know how to love themselves, so they found it difficult to show their love, and they didn’t know how I allowed that to affect me. This also allowed me to practice forgiveness in general and to cut people a bit of slack, are any of us ever fully aware of how we affect others? Those who are in deep emotional pain, who don’t love themselves, are the ones who cause the most distress for others with their words and actions.

When we practice loving, we are there for ourselves first, but not in a selfish way, we consider others, but we nourish ourselves from the well first, before we have enough nourishment in us, to give to others. We don’t feel we’re losing anything in being nice, and  we can be more there for them, with much less resentment. When we love ourselves we can learn discernment, we can set up a healthy emotional bank account that has more deposits than withdrawals, for healthy balanced relationships, as regular attempts are made to meet everyone’s needs. And we can set healthy boundaries and not allow ourselves to be treated in ways that destroy our spirit.

So how can we begin? We must first make some space to get to know ourselves, to be able to watch and observe our thoughts, our actions and to notice the affects they have on ourselves and others. Create a sacred space or sacred time that’s just yours. Go out into nature, go into a room by yourself, or go to bed earlier or later than others to find that quiet time. Place your hands over your heart centre, the centre of your chest, close your eyes and breathe in and out slowly and deeply for a while, until you feel a measure of peace, and ask yourself, ‘How can I love myself and others more?’

I also found this very powerful visualization to help you put things into perspective. Close your eyes, breathe deeply a few times. Now imagine you are at the end of your life, you have one hour left to contemplate all that has brought you to this point. If you had the time over again, what would you do differently? How would you have treated the ones you loved? What would have said, that you didn’t say? What would you have liked to do in your life that you didn’t do? What regrets do you have?

Now open your eyes, you’re still here, you’re still alive, that last hour may be nearer than you think. You now have a chance to change what you will be thinking about at the end of your life, when it does come. What will you do differently from now on?

The answers may surprise you!


Is This the End of Your World?

December 20, 2012

New Beginning
Written by Paula O’Sullivan

My son said to me the other evening, ‘Mom is the world really going to end on the 21st December? I know you know something about this, won’t you please tell me. I feel you are like a prophet or something’. And I replied, ‘Well if you’re power hungry and egotistical, son, then your world will begin to end, in fact it already has begun!’ We both laughed.

No I’m not a prophet, some of us are just here on Earth to show a different perspective, way showers if you like, pattern interrupters, that’s what we are. You hear so much about the world ending, media hype and mockery, disaster movies etc., so much that some people haven’t a clue what is happening, and others are almost frightened to death at what might happen. So I just thought I’d share what I feel about all this from my different perspective.

Now I’m not going to explain about planetary alignments, energy shifts etc., there is plenty of information out there for anyone interested in this. Do I believe in it all, yes I do, I can feel it myself, as a spiritual person.

What I need to share with you is this basic information that will help you through these trying times. Let me ask you a few questions. Have you had a good year so far? Has your life been full of struggles, relationship conflicts etc. etc.? If yes read on, you need to know this.

From my perspective, 2012 has been all about releasing the old, unwanted and unnecessary in our lives. The 21st December 2012 represents a new beginning of consciousness. The New World. The New Heaven and New Earth, which I believe this text from the Bible also refers to. “Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea” (Revelation 21:1).[1] I believe that the sea represents what separates us. I don’t believe that it means the sea will actually disappear. Let me explain further for those of you who don’t understand yet.

The old world is what we have now. We generally don’t love ourselves, so we don’t really know how to love other either. We judge and criticise and condemn ourselves and others. We are separated from each other in our minds; we see each other’s differences, skin colour, wealth, poverty, education, possessions etc. We see that we are different to them. We are focused mostly in our ego minds. We see it as us and them. Even though we are all human, we all live and breathe, smile and cry, have feelings and emotions, we do not see the connection with each other. We have become selfish and self-absorbed.

Religions have compounded the separations between nations, as beliefs differ; we feel we are right, and that they are wrong, that we are saved because we believe something that another doesn’t , enough so that people die because of their different beliefs. Living in our Ego minds, we look for offences and differences so we can defend our tightly held beliefs. The Religions have programmed their believers to think of their God and Saviour as an external entity, a something outside of themselves, something that you are not worthy of to have within yourself. Thus, forever leaving you forever helpless and powerless. There are many religious symbols around the world of the unripe pine cone which represents the pineal gland, or third eye. It’s the seat of the soul for spiritual awakening. The fact that the pine cones are unripe says it all!

Some are waiting for the return of their Saviour. But what if I suggest to you that we are made in Gods / Spirits / Creators) image, that the Kingdom of God (or Good) is already within you? What if you knew that part of that Higher Power / Spirit / Creator, whatever you believe, was already inside you and everyone else too? How different would you view your world then? Would we be killing each other then? Would we be allowing people to starve to death? Would we allow the tortures, the abuses, the dishonesty? Would we harm another in our thoughts, words or deeds? Would we? No, I feel we wouldn’t, because we would see that we are all one. We would see that we are all connected, the same, under the same stars, moon and sun. We would begin to work together, not against each other.

We would then be beginning to live from our hearts. 2012 from my perspective is the era of Christ Consciousness. Your Saviour hasn’t to yet arrive; it was already here all along, inside of each of you, where you never thought to look. Just waiting for you to wake up and realize the Love, the Good, the God, the Spirit, the Higher Power that is already within each of us. We are here to save ourselves and each other together.

We all have Free Will. We all have a Choice. You can choose to stay in the Old World way of Mind based decisions, or you can now see that we have an opportunity to move to Heart based decisions and A new World, a new beginning.

So you’ve been having a rough year have you? Most of us have. It’s been a battle between head and heart really. Head (Ego mind) wanted everything to go their way. It was full of expectations of how things must be. When that didn’t happen, you felt powerless didn’t you? Reality is usually different from our expectations. Maybe you tied up your feelings of worth in your possessions, or relationships, and felt like a failure if they didn’t work out? Ego mind had fun this year! Maybe the conflicts began because you needed to be right every time? Being right, makes others wrong you know, it gets the defences up. Guaranteed to brew an argument! Perhaps you didn’t communicate honestly, more lies, more deceiving… drives the wedge between relationships. So are you tired of the same old, same old scenarios yet?

This is what 2012 and especially the 21st December is all about as far as I’m concerned. It’s a choice between living and continuing your life and your relationships through your Ego mind, or between living through your Heart. You already know how the old game goes, so I won’t go into that. Here is how the new game gets played if you’d like to join me we could find a New Heaven and a New Earth and discover that the sea that separates us, no longer exists, because we are all one and connected in Love.

*Let go of expectations of how things should be, and start accepting things as the really are. Then you can decide if you would like to make some positive changes.

*When making decisions, ask yourself, ‘Is this for the Highest Good of All?’

*Decide to be Kind, instead of being right.

*Become more accepting, observing, not judging. Develop qualities that make you feel good and will help others to feel good too.

* Learn to love and accept yourself. Be kind to yourself. We mush nourish ourselves from the well first before we can nourish others. This takes time, bit by bit.

*Build up a sense of self-worth, so that you no longer tie up your happiness in other people or things. So that if those things are gone you have developed a sense of self and you will not crumble or dissolve when they are gone. You will then find that happiness is also within you. I developed an attitude of Gratitude. Now everything is enough, I no longer have those cravings for more, more, more. I no longer see what is lacking. I am satisfied, I am content, I am at peace. The Ego mind is never satisfied, you must be aware of this. Living from your heart will bring you peace.

* Stop trying to control everyone and everything. We can only control our own behaviour.

*Communicate honestly with people, speak your truth, openly and honestly and move away from fear to love… your heart will guide you, use your head to reason out consequences of your actions and to sum it up really simply, I basically treat others as I would like to be treated, even if they don’t treat me that way, I show them how. We reap what we sow, so what seeds are you sowing? Look in your garden, what is growing there? Is it a barren plot? Or a weed strewn heap? Or a garden full of blossoms that bring you joy?
Old World, New World? Your choice, your thoughts, your words, your actions have already begun to create it. The old ways are moving away.

So is your world ending or just beginning?


Remind me Once Again

July 30, 2012

 

Image

 

It’s really nothing personal you know… it’s just that we had a sacred contract to remind each other who we are… that’s all… we still have free will… we can choose the path we’ll travel… into the light … or into the darkness… it’s our choice.. it’s nothing personal.

 

I can be anyone…your child, your parent, your lover, your sister, your brother… I am the man who’s black, white, yellow, red, whose different skin colour bothers you…the person of another creed who doesn’t believe the same things you do… I fill you with fear don’t I? Because, I am different from you, or separate, or so you think, or so you believe.

 

I am the woman you can’t stand the sight of, maybe I’m ugly or overweight in your perception, I don’t fit into your concept of perfection, so I become the object of your contempt. Maybe I’m poor, perhaps I have an addiction, or I’m covered in tattoos, I’m the hobo on the bus, the homeless person lying in a cardboard house in the rain, you know, the one you avert your eyes at as you pass.

 

Let’s not make eye contact whatever you do, for then I’ll remind you, who you are. And you may not like that reminder, it might make you feel uncomfortable, make you feel like you should be doing more.

 

Walk on my friend, even if we didn’t connect or make eye contact this time, the truth is, you saw me there at my worst, or when I was vulnerable, or lost, or in pain, but I still reminded you, of who you are. And who you are, goes home with you, like a shadow, that never leaves, whispering uncertainty and doubts in your ears.

 

Many life times ago, we agreed to meet. I told you I would come.

 

I came to show you how to have compassion, but you chose to walk blindly by. I came to show you tolerance but you chose to react with intolerance. I came to teach you love but you closed your heart to me. I came to teach you patience but you couldn’t find the time.

 

It’s okay, don’t beat yourself up with remorse or regrets, I’ll come again, in another guise, and another, and another, I’ll keep coming to remind you, of who you are. And one day maybe you’ll see that.

 

Maybe you’ll see who you are, and maybe you’ll like what you see, and maybe you won’t. But you’ll see, and when you do, you’ll realize that, who you are, is a choice. And you’ll see that you make that choice, and that it doesn’t really matter what has gone before, because you cannot change the past, you can only change how you think about the past. But what really matters now, is what you are going to become now. This moment… ask yourself… who am I? Do I like what I see?

 

Are you bringing out the best in others or the worst?

Are your intentions skilful or unskilful?

Do you track the future possible consequences of your words and actions?

Are you out to harm or to heal the people you meet?

 

I am here to teach you that there is another way. I am here to remind you again, of who you are, today.

 

 

 


Let the Healing Begin

July 28, 2012

 

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A few years ago, if you’d have asked me was I a healer, I would have laughed at you for even asking me something like that. I didn’t feel worthy or good enough for such a gift.

Yet life is funny and throws some amazing lessons at us to learn, and I discovered that not only was I a healer, but that we all have the ability to heal within us, if we just know how.

For me, it began a couple of years ago. I developed a stress related illness. It started with severe headaches, and fatigue that floored me. I became slightly forgetful, had bad aches and pains in my bones, found that my legs, arms, face etc would become numb with tingling sensations, my speech would slow down and sometimes I was scared that I’d have a stroke. I would go out for a walk fine, and come back limping. I had many tests which didn’t show anything conclusive. I had an idea in my mind that I may just end up in a wheelchair, and I resigned myself to the fact that this was it.

My life wasn’t terribly exciting anyway at the time. I wasn’t happily married, things weren’t right. We were struggling to make enough money to live on. I had no friends left, as I gave them up when I married. I had no interests except the TV, my kids and a bottle of wine at the weekends. I already felt dead inside, and life had no meaning at all for me. I rarely smiled, there was no joy in me, and to be honest there were days when I spent hours considering ending it all. I think the only thing that kept me here was my kids; I wanted something better for them. I was a very ungrateful, negative thinker at the time, and I spent a lot of time trapped in a cycle of worry and fear. I had a lot of unresolved conflicts inside of my head, I had guilt, un forgiveness, frustration and anger all unexpressed and bottled up inside of me. I felt that life wasn’t fair, I felt like a victim and I was blaming the world big time. It’s no wonder I became ill.

Luckily in the course of the tests I was undergoing, I met a person who was so kind and attentive, that it woke me up. That person was just doing their job, it was unconditional kindness they were giving as part of their service to the world and it made a difference.

I realized that I hadn’t ever experienced kindness before; I realized that no one had ever really listened to me before, and suddenly I wanted to be kind to someone, I suddenly wanted to be or do something that would make another person feel alive inside like I did. This is where healing begins, when we reach out of our own darkness and want to help another person out of theirs.

This is where my present journey began in earnest, suddenly I had a purpose. I wanted to be kind, I wanted to help others, I didn’t know what I wanted to do, or how I would do it, as I was an early school leaver with little or no education, but I had a mission and that was a start. I began to read books like Louise Hay’s ‘You Can Heal Your Life’ and explored my thoughts and emotions. I learnt about energy fields , did courses in Chelation and Reiki, I explored Hypnosis, NLP etc I just kept asking questions, and when we start asking questions, we start getting some answers.

I discovered that we play a big part in our own wellness. I discovered that yes holding onto anger, hurt or pain, do steal your energy, they bring the frequency down, and when that happens , we can become ill. So let them go, oh yes by all means express yourself, but then let it go. Wellness is all about creating harmony and balance in our bodies. Address, accept and release if you want to heal. An imbalance of any emotion isn’t good for us. If you are angry all the time, or never angry, there is an imbalance. If you are always joyful, or never joyful, there is an imbalance. Find the point in-between the two.

Don’t let the world affect you too much, but have compassion. Don’t take the world personally. We are human, we are perfectly imperfect. We hurt each other, let each other down all the time. Accept that without losing heart or becoming bitter. Learn to love anyway, regardless of what happens to you, it’s an intention, a journey, you may never reach perfection, but you will free yourself of unnecessary suffering if you can love anyway. There is more than one way to perceive the world and what is happening.

You’re probably asking yourself, did I heal? Yes I am well now, all the symptoms long gone. Are we ever fully healed though?  Well maybe when we die we reach that perfection! I believe that life will give us many wounds to heal as lessons present themselves to us. We can become bitter or better. We can manifest illness, or wellness. I use body intuition now. I ask what my body needs. If I start to feel unwell, I see what emotions, or thoughts I’ve been harbouring, I check my diet, exercise, relaxation, work life balance etc. if I need to rest, I rest. If I need to nurture myself I do that. I don’t smoke and I gave up alcohol. I look at the part I’m playing in creating the imbalance (Illness) and I seek to address it before it manifests into something again. So far so good.

I believe that if we can first accept where we are in life, and add some gratitude for where we are and what we are learning from the experiences, then, we can turn around and start asking the questions.

For me, on hindsight, the illness could have been a great excuse to just opt out of a boring, mundane life that seemed to have no place for me in it. It would have been so easy to ignore the niggling thought, that something wasn’t quite right, that I should be doing something more meaningful. It would have been so easy, to wallow in all the attention an illness can bring. It would have been so easy to fill my life with the endless drama of hospital tests and visits, and retired into my illness until I became it.

But something far greater was calling me, and here I am. I went on to train in Hypnosis, and Reiki, and now I’m embarking on Life Coaching. Is this better than been ill? Undoubtedly! Did I get to be kind and help people? Oh yes, all the time, and it’s so very rewarding.

 

So are you ready to start asking some questions?

Is my life all I want it to be?

How could it be better?

If I took full responsibility for my actions and the part I’m playing in what is happening in my life, how would things be different? People only get away with being mean to us, if we allow them to. Stop blaming. Stop allowing them to be mean. If that’s a part you play, recognize it.

If you are ill, what is the illness stopping you from doing, and what would your life look like if you weren’t ill, what would you have to do if you weren’t ill? (And I know that not all people who are ill can get better, but every illness is drawing our attention to something that remains unresolved in our lives I believe) So maybe if you deal with the underlying issues, you may find symptoms relieve somewhat, worth a try, no guarantees though.

If I communicated my wants and needs openly how would my life improve?

These are just some questions you could ask yourself. I discovered that is so very easy to make excuses as to why things are the way they are, but when we see that we can have choices instead of excuses, we can choose more wisely, and choose to make things that are important to us, a priority.

You can be part of the darkness or part of the light. Part of the problem or part of the solution. Just know the part you’re playing, know that you are choosing either one or the other, become aware, and make a conscious choice today, if you want things to be better. Start adding some joy to your world, or start adding more misery, the choice is yours my friend, as we have free will. But just know that you are not powerless in all of this. You have within you something so amazing and beautiful, that if you could see what I see, you would cry tears of joy at the miracle of it all. The sad part is that most of us live and die without ever realizing what treasure we hold within, and we never give the world the benefit of that abundance. So find your treasure and please share so that all may receive the wealth that you have inside of you. You are precious, can’t you see that?

Are you ready to let the  healing begin?


What Would Love Do Now?

July 19, 2012

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A while back I discovered a very useful principle that could be used with anyone and in most situations. The WWLDN (What would love do now) Principle lends an element of acceptance and empathy, that can create an oasis of calm for the eager practitioner.

Of course to practice this principle we must first be clear on exactly what love is.

So what is love?

Mmmmm, so many things spring to mind with the word love. Let’s keep it simple shall we?

Love is… patient… love is… kind… love is….understanding… love is supportive… love is…encouraging….love is… non judgemental…love is…non clinging… love is…non controlling…. love is…accepting… love is…gentle…. love is….forgiving… love is having a sense of humour and not taking things too personal… ok…. You see where I’m going with this?

The problem with most of us, is that we have been programmed most of our lives. We have been programmed to have rigid views and expectations. We see characters acting out scenarios on TV, showing us the way it should be. We see our parents, friends, family etc role modelling modes and opinions of accepted behaviour. And when something similar happens in our lives, we go into a kind of auto pilot response, of how we should be reacting, we don’t even think about it, and we can see or hear our mum, or our dad or whoever, in our heads, telling us how to argue with our spouses, partners, and friends. We hear those voices telling us not to let them away with it, or we see our TV characters behaviour in our minds and off we go, re creating some drama or other. Pretty scary huh! I think it is, and for a lot of my life it was exactly like that. Until I discovered, the WWLDN Principle.

So how does this change things?

Well…. Your kids are screaming at you and you are tempted to react like your mum, dad, friend etc. but you know it will mean you getting angry, maybe losing control again, and spending the rest of the day feeling guilty and apologizing, but knowing deep inside that you have damaged your relationship further, and that someday it will be too late to say sorry. So you pause for a moment and think What Would Love Do Now? And you think about what element of love is most appropriate in this situation. So maybe you’ll explore being kind, or being patient for example. And you notice that the anger dissipates, and over time your relationship heals.

Or your neighbour who always manages to push your buttons in a negative way and brings out the worst in you is moving in for the kill yet again and you’re fired up to give him/ her a piece of your mind, and you can feel the pressure in your head already as your blood pressure rises… and you pause for a moment and ask yourself… What Would Love Do Now? And again you explore the most appropriate component of love for this situation, so you may decide to just understand their point of view, or you may decide to be non controlling and let go of the need to be right. You might even bring some humour in and say to them, yes you’re right, I agree, and then walk away, watching their chin drop to the ground. Ego loves to be right, and if you let them be right without it becoming a personal issue for you, you might even get to have a little chuckle to yourself about the whole thing.

My life has changed in the most amazing ways since I started incorporating it into every interaction and situation. I can already see the difference of outcomes as compared to my pre WWLDN phase.

There are always opportunities to interrupt the way we’ve been programmed, and the WWLDN Principle is a great way to do this. Give it a go; see what kind of positive difference this makes in your life!


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