Climbing Out of the Abyss- Part 20

March 17, 2016

It’s a Generational Thing

By Paula O’Sullivan

Seven Generations

‘Hurt people, hurt people. That’s how pain patterns get passed on, generation after generation after generation. Break the chain today. Meet anger with sympathy, contempt with compassion and cruelty with kindness. Greet grimaces with smiles. Forgive and forget about finding fault. Love is the weapon of the future.’- Yehuda Berg (Quote)

Stories in Ancient Lore suggest our thoughts, words and deeds all have the power to affect seven generations.

As mentioned in a previous article, by the age of six, we have witnessed our parents, guardians, siblings etc. response to the world with all the dramas and challenges of living, and we have learned our responses from them. Unless we challenge it, this is the way we too will carry on responding and reacting for the rest of our lives. Sometimes we even end up marrying someone like a parent, so our stories continue!

Most of us, were not brought up to love ourselves. Our parents didn’t love themselves, they were too stressed out trying to survive, and their parents certainly didn’t, it was even harder for them. And what about their parents, and their parents, go back seven generations, was there ever any concept of love given? For some of us it was a ‘spare the rod and spoil the child’ kind of concept. For others it was a ‘let that child cry, you’ll only spoil it if you give it too much attention’. These are just brief examples, but what kind of pain do they teach? The teach us that violence is an acceptable way to make people do what you want them to do, and that anger and abuse are an acceptable way for us to express and inflict our own deep emotional pain on others. They teach us that we are unworthy of loving and being loved, so we end up with low self-esteem, forever after either feeling inferior or the opposite, superior to others. Low self-esteem always swings like this, you never feel equal to anyone.

I also hear so much about illnesses etc. running in families. No one ever questions it, they just blame it on the genes, but the genes are only reactors to stimuli from the environment, they switch on and off as required, according to research by Dr. Bruce Lipton in his book, ‘The Biology of Belief’. A lot of people though if they look, will find that similar thought patterns and behaviours also run in families, which holistically are linked to those so called hereditary illnesses.

I’ve spent the past few years leaning to love myself and others. I’ve broken the pattern of my generations by changing myself first. In doing so I’ve shown my children an example of a different way of being in the world. Was I afraid to change, to break out of the norm or of what I was brought up to believe was the correct way to be? Oh yes, it took enormous courage to become who I really am and to honour that integrity above all else. But in doing so, I have opened a doorway for my children to be more loving, and hopefully if they have children, they too will improve on that. In this way we raise our consciousness and create a better world for all.

Part 21 – Mastering the Self.

Paula is an Author / Hypnotherapist / Reiki Healer / Artist / Photographer, in Blessington Co. Wicklow. www.i-want-a-better-life.ie / paulaosullivan1@gmail.com / Phone 086 0848398 All her articles to date are on her blog www.paulaosullivan@wordpress.com

 

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Climbing Out Of the Abyss Part 3

August 6, 2014

How Foods Affect Moods

Foods

In parts 1 and 2, I discussed how by changing our thoughts, we can change the way we feel, and by imagining positive mind movies we can create an easier way to see ourselves coping with depression.

In this, part 3, I’d like to share what I’ve learnt about how foods can affect our moods and health.

When I was depressed, I only ate because it was a necessity to stay alive. I had no interest in cooking. I consumed mostly processed, high sugar, or fast microwavable foods. I often got bursts of energy and then a slump, which would take me ages to recover from.

Foods contain amino acids that go directly to the brain. These form chemicals that can produce positive or negative moods and affect energy levels. Dopamine is a positive brain chemical. It elevates our moods. It activates the metabolism, which helps to establish a healthy weight. It helps the brain generate the energy it needs, it stimulates the heart, regulates the flow of information through our brains, and it controls movement. Dopamine production is boosted by the consumption of foods, especially those containing the amino acid tyrosine.

Some of the foods that will make you feel good for longer are fresh organic fruits and veg, flaxseeds, free range chicken, turkey, eggs and fish (watch out for mercury) Reduce or eliminate sugary, processed or fatty foods, these stimulate acetylcholine, a negative chemical, which will make you feel bad.

Gluten or wheat in our diets cuts off the blood flow to the frontal cortex in our brain, and affects how we digest our food, which contributes to depression, concentration and digestive issues. It is also linked to the condition schizophrenia. Studies showed full or partial reversal of symptoms when some people cut out gluten and wheat, or were supplemented with a dietary supplement glycine, under test conditions! Processed gluten-free foods are not healthier for you, they have substitutes such as rice flour, potato starch and tapioca starch. These foods have high glycemic indexes, so when people eat them, their blood sugar spikes.

Our bodies are made of 70 -80% water, and if we’re not drinking enough, we’ll feel low moods and experience pains and fatigue. Tap water contains a lot of heavy metals, chlorine, arsenic and fluoride. The fluoride is a halogen, it competes for and displaces the body’s iodine which is essential for a healthy thyroid. Clinical studies in the 70’s, based on giving fluoride as a medication, either by tablet, or a daily dose, 1 part per million, equivalent to one glass of water a day, found it could destroy the thyroid gland. Fluoride is a neuro toxin and it suppresses the natural release of serotonin and melatonin. It contributes to issues of depression, dementia, Alzheimer’s, sleep problems, arthritic type symptoms, osteoporosis, thyroid issues, low IQ, fibromyalgia and more!

Drinking bottled water which has no fluoride in it, or getting a reverse osmosis fluoride filter system installed, is a worthwhile health investment. You can buy fluoride free waters from Tesco: Ashbeck, Perthshire and Highland Spring, Lidl sell: Carrig Glenn, and other shops sell Willow Water, Tipperary Water, Volvic, Evian and Vittale.

Teas, including green and black, can have approx. 3 parts per million fluoride, per cup. One should not exceed 4ppm per day. Try herbal teas or green juicing. We also absorb fluoride from toothpaste and rinses too.

In part 4: Disassociating from painful memories.

Paula is an Author /Hypnotherapist/ Reiki Healer / Artist, in Blessington Co. Wicklow, http://www.i-want-a-better-life.ie paulaosullivan1@gmail.com 086 0848398 All my articles to date can be viewed on my blog, http://www.paulaosullivan@wordpress.com


Climbing Out of the Abyss (Part 2)

August 3, 2014

Positive Mind Movies

‘Nurture your mind with great thoughts, for you will never go any higher than you think’

Benjamin Disraeli (quote)

Visualization

 

In part 1, I shared how if we change our thoughts, we can change how we feel. Most people think it works the other way around. They feel depressed and they wait for the feeling to pass, and it may or may not. Being aware of types of thoughts though, at least offers you a choice in the matter. Oh I’m not saying this is going be a fast and easy thing for you. We all have good and bad days where we’re more or less able to deal with stuff.  Checking our thoughts can be tiring. But choose a day when you feel up to it, and then begin.

Also when we are depressed, we play disaster movies in our minds. We can’t picture ourselves coping, or of things working out for us. Here’s a little exercise for you to create positive mind movies instead. Write down how you do want to feel. What do you want your life to look like and how do you want to see yourself coping with whatever happens in your life. I would often call up an image of myself as a strong survivor, admittedly sometimes it was of me standing on one plank, barely afloat, with one arm waving a flag, but hey I was still standing, I was still here! We need to keep our sense of humour!

Close your eyes, imagine a private movie theatre with a freeze frame of you on the screen. You are safe here. Choose a scenario that you want to be better in. How do you want to see yourself acting? How do you want to feel? What do you want to look and sound like? Now press play and practice seeing, feeling and hearing the new you. Press pause, think of what you want to change. Then rewind fast, pause and play the new scene. Repeat the scene a few times and then press save. Anytime the disaster movie comes on in your mind, eject and play the new movie instead. Keep improving on what you want. If you can see it in your mind then you’re already halfway there. When you are comfortable with what’s in your mind, you can then start to practice it in your life.

You probably weren’t born depressed, so if that’s the case, then you acquired a certain way of thinking that has affected you. Each thought, forms and strengthens a neural pathway and reinforces that way of thinking, which affects your behaviour and beliefs. Well you can reverse that, it just takes some time.

Another thing I found useful were affirmations, short positive sentences, like ‘Each and every day, I get better, and better in every way’ I wrote them out on post it notes and stuck them everywhere. Every time I started to feel a bit low, one of them would catch my eye, and remind me that I wanted to feel better, and I would imagine feeling what I wanted to feel. I would repeat them a few times when I awoke, and again when I was drifting off to sleep. This is your body’s natural hypnotic state, your mind is in alpha theta brainwave, and is very susceptible to suggestion, so be kind to your mind at these times!

In Part 3 How Foods Affect Moods

Paula is an Author / Hypnotherapist / Reiki Healer, based in Blessington, Co Wicklow http://www.i-want-a-better-life.ie


Climbing Out of the Abyss – Coping with Depression (Part 1)

August 2, 2014

‘Every thought is a battle, every breath is a war, and I don’t think I am winning anymore’ – Author unknown

Thoughts

Have you ever visited the Abyss? I’ve been there more than a few times in my life, and I’ve never once sent a postcard with ‘Wish you were here’ on it! It’s not a good place to be! I was depressed most of my life until about 2010 when I learned some techniques. I’ve never been on medication for it. Sometimes it is necessary though, so always consult your doctor and don’t go rushing off to drop your medications after reading this, which can be dangerous. These suggestions can be incorporated whether on medication or not. I just want to share with you what has helped me.

To change anything, first you’ve got to decide that you want to feel different, better and happier. You’ve got to want this more than the depression. Second, you need to become aware of the types of thoughts you’re having. There are two ways of thinking.

The worst way: To remain in a depressed state we have to focus on all that is going wrong or has gone wrong, keep thinking negative thoughts, have thoughts of self- blame, perceived failures, have lack of faith in the future or have negative expectations. We have to focus on the worst that could happen, to criticise ourselves and tell ourselves things like ‘I can’t’  and ‘I doubt it’, which inevitably will lead to overwhelming feelings of despair, hopelessness, fear and lack of control. We have to not accept the reality of present, past or possible future situations.

The best way: To escape the cycle of depression we must begin to think in a better way. The best way focuses on accepting the reality. ‘Ok, I don’t like what happened to me or what is happening, or I don’t know what will happen to me, but how best can I cope with that reality, right now, where I am, with what I have ? What is the best thing I can do right now? And if there is no action I can take, how best can I survive right now? What is going right? What do I actually have right now? When we ask our minds the right questions, it opens the door to our subconscious mind, which has all the answers. You will find yourself picturing yourself coping in the best possible way. You will ask yourself, ‘How do I want to be feeling, coping, living?’ What would that feel like? Is there anything I can do, no matter how small, to help me feel like that now? How would my life be different if I wasn’t depressed? And could I handle that?’

This can throw up surprising answers. If there is something you can’t deal with in your life, the body will perceive that as a threat to the balance of health. It will express that threat in some way, ie depression, illness etc. It’s like the dashboard warning light in a car. It’s drawing your attention to something in your life that needs to be dealt with. Change the way you think about the situation, and you can reverse the symptom. Sometimes we do too much damage and may not be able to repair it, but we can certainly still make conditions better than they were.

In part 2, I will share techniques for creating positive mind movies.

Paula O’Sullivan is a Hypnotherapist /Reiki Healer her website is http://www.I-want-a-better-life.ie


Painful Awakening

July 6, 2012

Image

Something’s not right is it? You’ve known it for quite a while now haven’t you? But you can’t quite put your finger on it, can you?

Life is a daily drudge, sleeping and waking, trying to fill the big void. There is something missing, but you don’t know what it is, and what you try to fill the void with, isn’t working, is it? The pain is still there. Something is wrong.

The drugs no longer give you the high you needed, the pain and unease are still there, even after a night of heavy drinking, oh you escaped it for a while, but now its back isn’t it? The addictions don’t fulfil the need you have anymore, but you don’t really know what that need is anyway. The casual sex isn’t doing it for you either… and the porn… well, you’ve gone so past your initial comfort zone… desensitised yourself so much, that you hardly recognize who you are anymore. The depression is getting worse not better. You’re in pain, you’re ill, the medication doesn’t work and all they do is keep handing you more and more pills, and tell you to go away, and you wonder where will it all end?

Yet each and every day is the same, one dull moment after another, interspersed with thoughts of the next high, the next drug, the next drink, the next encounter, the next pill… life has no meaning has it ? Sure don’t you need this stuff? What else is there?

But the pain keeps chasing you, and you run, and you run to escape it, but you can’t, it’s like your shadow, clinging closer and closer, becoming more and more restricting the more you try to run from it…. until you crash and burn or….

Until the day you turn and face this thing, it will never leave you.

This is the day of painful awakening, when you wake up, and say I want something different, I don’t know what, I don’t know how, but something has to change here. I can’t go on like this.

And you’re standing there in the void of your own making, and you’re lost and alone and scared out of your wits, because the familiar is still calling you, and your pain is great, but you know, you just know that the fear of the unknown and the fear of what it entails, will have to battle with that old way of being in your world, before you can move on.

And most of us don’t know how to move on, people don’t understand what we’re going through, they don’t know our secrets, how many would stay with us if they did? Very few I gather. So you’re alone, and afraid and suddenly vulnerable in the shadow of your pain, no one can help you now, but yourself.

Are you strong enough? Ask for strength… yes you’re strong enough, it’s inside you all along… you’ve come this far… yes you’re strong…. ask for it… see yourself coping… see yourself  being strong… ask for it…. feel that strength… that determination seeping into every cell… every fibre of your being… feel it…

Identify your needs… what do you really want? Everything we do has a form of payback, whether it is something we are aware of consciously or unconsciously, otherwise we wouldn’t do it… think about it….

What are the drugs / drink giving you? A high, an escape from a mundane world? Try science, try nature, have you walked in the rain yet and enjoyed it, allowed the rain to fall on your face, on your skin, looked into a raindrop and saw the world in it? Got high on the scents of damp earth and wet foliage, or the scent of newly cut grass, have you ever sat under the moon and stars and wondered at the awesomeness of it all? Have you every really looked at a flower, an insect, a sunset and felt something indescribably beautiful welling up inside of you? Have you ever noticed the wind caressing your skin? There is a bigger high, a bigger escape that can be found, if we take the time to look for it, and sometimes it just finds us, we just have to be aware and open to it.

What is your pain, illness, disease or depression giving you? An excuse? An opt out clause from living? Attention of some sort? A veil to hide behind? Have you ever thought about it? What are you resisting? What are you not accepting in your life? What have you not dealt with emotionally? Who have you not forgiven? Who are you still angry at? Acceptance is the beginning of the end of pain. What we resist, persists until we accept and let it go. What are you still taking personal? What are you still hanging on to, that is causing your depression, your illness, your dis ease, your pain? I know people who have been told they would die young, but they are still alive, I know of people who were told they’d lost the use of limbs forever, yet they can use them now. I know of people who were told they’d never walk again, yet they do. And I also know of people who believed the doctors and they died, or they are still ill, not only with one illness, but a fine collection of maladies, which keeps them happy in a painful way. Please forgive me, some of you are getting angry, protesting, a normal response, some illness etc cannot be healed, oh I know that, but think about this more deeply when your anger subsides. What is it giving you? What is the payback? What would have to be different in your life if you hadn’t got that issue? What would your life require of you? Our body will tell us what part of us needs attention, our subconscious mind will express any perceived threat to the inner balance of our body in some way, shape or form. What is it stopping you from doing? Does that question make you comfortable or uncomfortable? Become aware.

What is sex or porn giving you? I’m not talking about loving sex here by the way. I’m talking about multiple partners. Is it just for company? You can’t bear to be on your own? Don’t you like yourself, your own company, your own thoughts? Perhaps you have a need to release tension, frustration, anger? Perhaps you can’t allow yourself to get close to someone, to connect with them deeply, it’s easier to see people as an object, then you can disconnect quicker, walk away, next please. You might have to lose something of yourself if you connect mightn’t you? Sex and desires are of the Ego part of our minds, they always want to get something, they always fear that we can lose something, so the giving a part of ourselves doesn’t come into it. It’s all about getting. Fear is great in all of this. Ego wants the next great excitement, it’s always looking for more, and nothing ever satisfies this part of us. Nothing will ever be enough.  You’ve tried sexuality, have you tried sensuality? Tantra? It awakens a deeper part of us, a more satisfying part. Have you really looked into the eyes of your lover, seen their soul and let them see yours?… Oh it’s scary… it’s uncomfortable at first… you feel more vulnerable than if you were naked with a stranger… it’s disquieting… oh but how you can connect… oh but how you can know that person without the words. Have you ever just held hands? Noticed the warmth of their skin, have you ever really looked closely at the person you’re with? The magazines and the videos and the images will never even come close to the feeling of euphoria, inner joy and contentment this can bring.

Another form of escapism from pain is the TV; we don’t have to think when we watch it. We can opt out of life so easily. We sit for hours in trance watching stupid programmes, all these things keep us stuck… they all have some form of payback and most of us are happily or unhappily unaware that there is another way. When you see that you have a choice and you can consciously do something towards making a different choice, that’s when things will change, that’s when you’ll get different results, that’s when you’ll see that life does not actually have any meaning…. Until we give it some ourselves! Welcome to your painful awakening if you choose it! The choice is yours! Choose consciously!


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