Building Your Dreams

January 17, 2016

 Manifesting What You Really Want

By Paula O’Sullivan

Castles in the air

“If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be.

Now put the foundations under them.” – Henry David Thoreau, Walden (Quote)

Many of us have a vague idea of what we want. Sometimes we do get what we asked for, but it turns out to be, not what we really wanted after all. Sometimes we don’t even seem to be getting anywhere near to what we desire. It can be a frustrating venture.

I’d like to share some of the things that are helping me to manifest what I want. Ok I’m a work in progress here, and I’m no expert, which is a good thing, as I’m constantly open to trying new and different approaches, so I’ll keep sharing as I learn and get results.

I’d like you to begin thinking of yourself as an architect from now on. What does an architect do?  They take the time to formulate an idea of what they want to create. Once they know what they want, they put some ideas on paper. They believe it is possible, otherwise it won’t happen. They check out the environmental impact of their plan. Then they go into the details. What materials will they use? How much will it cost? Who will they need to help? Ok you get the idea, ready? Let’s go!

Everything in your world has been created from thoughts. Unbelievable huh? Look around you… the clothes you wear, the car, the computer, the pathways you walk on, the building you live or work in, the chair, the bed, all the gadgets etc. Yes! Even you were a thought in someone’s mind at one stage, in my case an unwanted thought, but hey that’s life!

But it doesn’t end there. What about your life right now? The relationships you have or don’t have. The way people treat you. The things you do or don’t do? How you feel about life and your experiences. Your health, your wealth or lack of them? Somewhere you had a thought that led you here. Our beliefs are just thoughts we keep thinking over and over, and these can become our conscious or subconscious reactions to things. These can affect our behaviour and the actions we take or don’t take.

The good news is that if everything in our lives was created by our thoughts and beliefs, then we can change it. Thoughts can be changed, and with different thoughts about things, we will take different actions and form different behaviours, which will create something different. As Albert Einstein said, ‘We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them’.

So the first thing we must do is:

Decide what you want to create. Think about the architect, be specific. Why do you want it? What do you think gaining this will give you? The reason I ask is this, some people want more money, but approximately 70 – 95 % of lottery winners become broke within 5 years and are worse off. Some people who enter new relationships end up feeling they are further from experiencing what they wanted. Some people who change jobs find they have re-entered a similar or worse situation than before.

Sort yourself out first: If you can’t manage your finances now, then winning a large sum won’t change that. Learn how to do it now, so that if you do attract large sums of money, you won’t be a statistic of those who go broke again.

Work on yourself: If you have low self- esteem and no healthy boundaries now, don’t expect that a new relationship or work situation will change that. If you don’t love and respect yourself, don’t expect others to. If you don’t make the time to look after and nurture your wants and needs, then no one else will make sure that you get it. Well this has been my experience anyway. We only get treated the way we allow ourselves to be treated. You’ll only attract what you are, because we each carry an energetic vibration that varies from being lower to higher. In the universe like attracts like. Match your vibration with what you desire and it will suddenly appear. So become what you desire. Manage your finances better and you’ll feel wealthy. Obviously there is more to this, you’ll need to let go of a sense of poverty consciousness if you have that. Start watching what you say and think about money. If you say there is never enough, then there won’t be. Love yourself first and you’ll feel loved and respected, then you will be more discerning with who you engage with in relationships. Support yourself and you’ll feel supported and so on.

We have been brought up to believe that the solution to our problems or our happiness lies in the hands of others. We are constantly looking to the external to satisfy us. We really need to look within first. Our outer experiences are just mirroring our inner perceptions. As within, so without. Start watching for different results as you work on yourself. You will start attracting according to whatever perceptions you are holding inside of you. Also sometimes we start attracting what Florence Scovel Shinn describes in her writings as, ‘signs of land’. You want to attract a large sum of money and only receive a small discount or gift of money at first. Look at this as a positive move towards abundance. Or you want a date but the right person isn’t showing up, but you’ve been asked out by others, this is a sign that you are on the right path, keep going. Just keep being grateful for what shows up, and re define what you DO want. I always say ‘thank you, now I’m getting nearer to what I want’.

Write it down in detail. If you don’t know exactly what you want, then anything and everything will show up. Be very specific. An architect can’t afford to gloss over the details or their creation would collapse, and neither can you, not if you want to create what you really want.

Visualize it. Play it over and over in your imagination. Perfecting it as you go.

Bring up the emotions you want to feel when you have received what you want. E – motion is Energy in Motion. Put some energy into what you desire.

Believe it is possible. Drop the doubts, drop the fears.

Release your resistance to receiving it. Use this affirmation ‘I now release any resistance to: wealth, abundance, excellent health, loving or being loved, the right person, the right home, the right job etc.

Write out your environmental impact plan! No kidding, what affect will getting what you want affect you and everyone else in your life? When making conscious decisions we must take the view of the higher greater good of all concerned. How will others benefit from what you want?

Now take action. Build the foundations under those castles in the air. ‘If you want something you’ve never had, you must be willing to do something you’ve never done.’ Thomas Jefferson (Quote) If you want to move home, check out in detail where you want to move to. Get a snag list done up on the house you’d like. Find out the costs involved. Find out who you’ll need to help you with this. Go on a dating site, join a club, or take up a new hobby. Do a course, research, etc.

Gratitude: You must be grateful for where you already are with what you already have before you can appreciate anything new.

Share your ideas only with people you know will support you. It won’t help you to share with people who reinforce your fears or doubts. They will just help you to stay as you are in the realms of their comfort zone. I found that the people who had the most opinions about me and my life, have never really done anything with theirs, and they didn’t want me to do anything with mine. It kind of shows them up, and they don’t like that. Don’t allow anyone to squash your dreams, the anger and resentment you’ll carry is not worth it for your health and wellbeing.

Goals

Sometimes after doing this we may realize that we don’t want it after all, and that’s ok, just see this as a blessing and re focus on something else that you want. Remember that nothing will be 100% perfect forever. We are constantly changing our ideas of perfection. The only true perfection in life is death, it is final and complete. “If you look for perfection, you’ll never be content.”- Leo Tolstoy (Quote) A lot about creating what we want, is sometimes accepting something imperfect and improving on it where we can.

And finally, you gotta want what you want so much, that you have done all you can to help it to happen, that you just don’t care anymore! Yes you read that right. You reach a point in all of this, that you are content as you are, feeling very grateful for where you are now, knowing what you’d like to improve on it, and realizing that you’ve survived this long without it, and knowing that you can survive a little bit longer, that’s when it just all seems to fall into place, when you’re fully allowing it to! So do what you can and then let it go!

Happy Manifesting!

Paula is an Author / Hypnotherapist / Reiki Healer / Artist / Photographer, in Blessington Co. Wicklow. www.i-want-a-better-life.ie / paulaosullivan1@gmail.com / Phone 086 0848398 All her articles to date are on her blog www.paulaosullivan@wordpress.com

 

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Climbing Out of the Abyss – Part 12

April 4, 2015

Being Proactive

Proactive

‘Do what you can, with what you have, where you are’ – Theodore Roosevelt (Quote)

There were times in my life when I couldn’t get started to change anything, I was suffering from ‘Perfectionism’. I was waiting for everything to be perfect before I could begin. I could see what needed to change, but I couldn’t imagine the steps to get there, I didn’t feel it was the right time, didn’t have enough money, education etc. It all seemed so overwhelming and impossible, so I would just keep doing what I was doing, over and over again, hoping that something would change. But of course nothing ever did, because how can we expect to get a different result from doing the same old things? We can’t!

To change anything, we must first become aware of where we are, and where we’d like to be and accept the reality (See parts 1 & 6) Then we need to make a plan. A plan is like an oar in a boat, it will help direct you where you want to go. Most of us are like boats without oars, allowing life’s circumstances to direct us all over the place. ‘Between stimulus and response, man has the freedom to choose’ Victor Frankl quote. And we can choose where we want to go in life and how we want to respond to what is happening.

We can act or be acted upon. An example of this was, I found myself in financial difficulty, unable to pay the full mortgage. I could have put my head in the sand and ignored the problem. I would then have been acted upon. Every action or inaction on our behalf has a consequence. I chose to be proactive and approached the bank, yes several times, but I just wouldn’t give up. While I was waiting for them to engage with me, I decided to pay the small amount that I could afford, weekly into my account regardless. I did this religiously for two years, and finally they did come back to me and we now have an arrangement for five years.

We sit around waiting for the magic wand to appear and solve all our problems, which rarely happens. We are a part of the problem and a part of the solution. When I wasn’t earning enough, I started making and selling my jewellery, artwork, writing, photography and I’ve just set up the Blessington Home Enterprise Group Monthly Craft Market.

We need to become aware of the things we can have some control over and focus more on that area, than those that we can’t.

So, what can you do, right now, where you are, with what you have? If you’re in debt, approach the lenders, agree a small amount with each. If you’re in relationship difficulties, talk to the person involved and discuss each other’s needs. If you’re looking for a job consider re training, look at www.skillnets.ie/unemployed, or  www.alison.com, there are hundreds of free courses, I’m doing one myself to upgrade my skills.

Make a plan, set a goal, decide where you want to go, or you’ll just drift any old place. All things are created twice, first in the mind, and then in your reality. Make sure you’re getting the results that you really want to get!

Part 13 – Core Beliefs

Paula is an Author/ Hypnotherapist / Reiki Healer / Artist in Blessington Co. Wicklow. www.i-want-a-better-life.ie / paulaosullivan1@gmail.com / Phone 086 0848398 All her articles to date are on her blog www.paulaosullivan@wordpress.com


Is it time to Get Focused on Losing Weight?

June 29, 2012

Do do do do, do do do do….. Picture yourself in the ‘Light Weight Zone’

Can you see your future slimmer self in your minds eye? What are you wearing? How do you feel? How do you walk? How do you talk? What do you look like? If you can begin this journey with a positive picture in your mind that makes you feel good when you think of it, you’re already half way there!

So let’s get this picture established in our minds. How do you want to be? How do you want to feel? What do you want to look like?

Have you got that in your mind? Good… now we’re on a roll. Can you believe that it is possible to achieve that? Feeling a bit unsure huh? Does it seem a bit unreachable? It can seem that way, especially if you’ve got more than a few pounds to lose? Ok how about we focus on the first 14lbs in weight to begin with, small steps. A marathon runner sets off towards the finish line, and helps to keep themselves motivated by focusing on the next lamppost, when they reach that, they go on to the next, and the next until they reach the finish line.

So now what? Well assuming you now know what you want, and believe that you can achieve it, and have set your first goal i.e. to lose the first 14lbs in weight, you’ll need to do something… take some action…. nothing happens without action.

A good place to begin is by being honest with yourself. Get a notebook and pen ready, a weighing scales would be handy too. Now get ready…. weigh in (preferably without clothes and before you have a shower, both add pounds to the scales, which you’ll have to calculate and subtract…, keep it simple!)….. write it down….now you’ve got your starting line……… write down your target weigh loss…… now you’ve got your finish line…… in your notebook for the first week…. If you eat or drink something write it down….. if you exercise…. write it down….. at the end of the week…..  You’ll see clearly what you are eating, how much you are exercising and how much you weigh. Ouch….. the truth hurts sometimes….. Now’s your opportunity to see that you have control over your mind and body, this is where you get to choose….This is the exciting bit. The second week…. Have a look at last weeks list and see where you can change something……if you ate 2 chocolate bars a day last week, you might try 1 a day this week…. If you had only one walk last week you might try to have two or three this week….. at the end of the second week…. Weigh in again…… and you will see that by making a few small changes in the week you have suddenly lost weight…… now you feel excited…… now you see that you are indeed in control…. And you can tailor this to lose more….. It’s all about balance really…. If we keep filling our car up with fuel and don’t drive it…. The fuel pours out…. Messy…. Our bodies are the same……if we keep eating and don’t exercise…. We gain weight…. By keeping a record of what you are doing…. This will help you to stay accountable to yourself…. And will show you where you can make healthy choices.

Now sometimes the initial excitement  may wear off and you may notice that it takes a little bit of work to keep going forward with this…. and you may start thinking the kind of thoughts like……. oh I’ll just have that extra slice of cake, sure I deserve it, haven’t I been very good…..and it may be easy for you to give yourself permission to do this, and then you may have another slice and so on until you’re back where you began, or worse……. The reason this can happen is that we have neural pathways in our brains…. And every time we think a thought…. It strengthens those pathways…. And these form beliefs and habits which affect our behavior….. and if you’re over weight due to unhealthy eating and exercise patterns…. these pathways are already strengthened…. And it would be very easy to slip back into the old habits….. these kind of permission giving thoughts…. bring us into a RUT…and a RUT… is only a record of unhelpful thoughts…. and the way out of a rut is to have helpful thoughts……. now helpful thoughts are the types of thoughts that remind us that we have a choice to say no, or we can  imagine that  every time we get tempted to go off our plan,  the voice in our minds that say, go on you deserve it, sounds like Elmer Fudd or  Bugs Bunny or someone that you would never take seriously…. Yes laugh at it…tell it to talk to the hand…. whatever works for you…

And this would be a good time to use some affirmations…. and form some new neural pathways….. affirmations are short sentences… for example ‘I am in the process of losing weight and I’m enjoying it’, ‘I lose weight, easily and effortlessly’,  ‘Every step I take brings me nearer my goal’, if you just rattle them off they won’t work, the way affirmations work is if you can evoke some kind of positive emotion and feeling with them, really get into it, get a clear picture into your mind of what you want to achieve, for the less visually orientated it helps to have a photo or a picture from a clothes catalogue nearby, to help reinforce your goal,  you’ve got your picture, you’ve got the words, now make it feel real, don’t think that it is difficult, we have already done this by telling ourselves this for far too long, that it’s impossible to lose weight, you’ve been hypnotising yourself all along and didn’t even know it… It’s time that you got your mind working for you for a change…. So play act in your mind…. This is what it’s like…

You have decided how much you want to lose…. You believe you can achieve it, if you break it down into small steps and stages….. you’ve set you’re goal for the first 14lbs within a reasonable amount of time…… you’ve taken that outfit that you want to wear out of hiding or perhaps you bought a new one, and it’s hanging in a prominent place in the wardrobe…. You have a clear picture in your mind of what you want to look and feel like…. You are constantly telling yourself that you are in the process of getting slimmer… and you’re choosing to believe it…you’re talking back to any thoughts that tell you otherwise…. And you haven’t ended up in a straight jacket….. life is good…..now your subconscious mind is working for you….. it’s helping your goal to become a reality….. you find it so easy to keep on track with this….

Doing all the things you need to do… keeping yourself accountable… regulating your own foods… cutting down but not necessarily cutting out and you’ll keep remembering that bigger snacks mean bigger slacks!

Life is fair…. Life is fun….. you enjoy the moments when you are eating so much more now…. becoming mindful of the tastes, savouring, enjoying…. Not allowing any distractions … being fully present with your meals….. and knowing how much more you will enjoy the next one…. Without ruining it by snacking in between…… and you can see yourself stepping on the scales weekly and even if you’ve only lost 1lb…. knowing that you are now 1lb nearer to your goal….. and it feels great … Choosing your own exercise……you are finding ways to get exercise into your weekly routine, and even if it only means parking a few car spaces away from where you want to go, you know that those steps will all add up at the end of the week and will make a difference on the scales…..

And now all you’ve got to do is GET FOCUSED and make it happen! Best of luck!


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