Climbing Out of the Abyss – Part 23

July 11, 2017

Divided Mind – Taming the Ego

By Paula O’Sullivan

 

Taming Ego

Photo courtesy of pexels.com

 

‘We must go beyond the constant clamor of ego, beyond the tools of logic and reason, to the still, calm place within us: the realm of the soul’ – Deepak Chopra

 In order to tame the ego, we must first know a little bit about it, and why anyone would even want to tame it. Notice I said tame, and not destroy it, as we need it in some ways to know ourselves as an individual. If you look in the dictionary, you may very well be still confused as to what it is. It is described as; a person’s sense of self-esteem or self-importance, the part of the mind that mediates between the conscious and the unconscious and is responsible for reality testing and a sense of personal identity, and, a conscious thinking subject. Interesting descriptions.

There are many ancient stories that refer to the beginning of the ego / divided mind, in mankind. Some relate to Atlantis, the Annunaki, and the creator gods. There are references in the bible too.  The Adam and Eve story refers to the creation of the Adamic and Eve race and the subsequent division of mind and the discovery of good and evil, or more appropriately, awareness and unawareness. Apparently the original souls that came to earth, were of a higher consciousness and were fully aware. The duality or division of mind that ego created, led us out of paradise, not poor Eve! We’re in paradise or heaven when we’re fully aware, we’re in hell when we’re not! I’ll explain more about this in a future article.

To make it easier to understand, let’s consider that Ego stands for Edging God / or Goodness Out. If we were like the original souls, before the fall, we would have a higher consciousness and awareness of ourselves and others. We would make more decisions and choices based on love and compassion. We would only see the connections between souls. We would recognize the similarities we all share in this earth school.

Well the good news is, that we are like the original souls, we all have an inherent goodness in us, a light, an awareness, a conscience, or Con – Science (science of the heart)

However for a long, long time we have been conditioned to exist from the perspective of the ego.

The ego is our lower, baser self, it’s all about the ‘Me’ part of us, and self – preservation. The higher part of ourselves, the ‘I’ is the soul, and is about the interconnectedness of all things.

How were we conditioned?

We’ve been encouraged to believe in borders, flags, nationalities, patriotism, and differences. Cautioned to ignore our intuition (tuition from within) and to be skeptic of it. The religious and political stories we’ve been told have separated us from ourselves and others. All arguments, all wars spring from ego, the need to be right at all costs.

We were told Eve was to blame, this started a patriarchal system that is still alive and kicking today.  Women are still being treated as second class citizens around the world. Yes the men did and still do terrible things, they have been conditioned that way. Women do awful things too. In unawareness, in ego mind, we are separated from our soul’s highest intentions.

We were told that the God we believe in is outside of us, and that we’re not worthy enough to even gather up the crumbs from under the table of that entity. If we were encouraged to believe that entity was within each of us, we might just feel it important to respect everyone. We’d all be sacred then wouldn’t we?

Far too many of us were brought up mostly in an unloving manner, with a social myth about ‘sparing the rod and spoiling the child’. We now know that this way of parenting creates people who are unable to love, to connect to themselves and others. It creates people who are dependent and prone to depression, suicide and addictions. It creates people who feel they are flawed, disconnected and unworthy.

Our school systems are primarily geared towards left brained learning. Most of it is academic, analytical, rational stuff. From an early age our minds are crammed with useless shite, of little or no use in our everyday lives after we leave. We are taught to listen and repeat, and not taught to think and reason for ourselves.

We are taught to ridicule the imagination. ‘It’s only your imagination’- (you’re just a feckin looney!)

Perhaps psychology was introduced to highlight and control those fucked up individuals among us who didn’t conform to left brain conditioning. If you’re a right brained creative or psychic etc. you’ll be seen as a weirdo, more separation. Don’t worry if this depresses you, they have a pill for that!

Look around you at your world if you don’t believe me for proof of ego mind in action. Poverty, hunger, greed, wars, bigotry, racism, sectarianism, pollution, slavery, crimes, mental health issues (gentle souls get depressed, in this unloving world of ego. You rarely hear of egotistical psychopaths getting depressed do you?) Pornography (this separates males and females from forming connected sacred sexual relationships) and on and on the list goes!

Is this the kind of world we want for ourselves and our children and grandchildren?

So how do we tame our ego, how do we begin to heal the divided mind?

  • Learn to love, accept and respect yourself, then you’ll begin to love accept and respect others, you will see the connection between us all.
  • Start to value your imagination. It’s the greatest gift we’ve all been given, use it wisely and only allow what you would like to happen into it. Know that what you wish for others, you wish for yourself.
  • Pay attention to your intuition and your conscience, that’s your soul prompting you to other alternative more aware choices.
  • If you are in two minds about some decision, ask how this will affect all concerned, if it hurts or harms another person or being, choose carefully.
  • Practice using your right brain. Stories, music, art, being creative, exploring imagination etc. We need both sides of our brain, we’re like an aeroplane flying on one wing otherwise.
  • Meditate, and listen to the promptings of your higher self. There is a wiser, less mean part of us. We can be cold hearted beasts or warm hearted angels, or somewhere in between.
  • Catch yourself trying to be right, trying to win at the cost of another, trying to destroy someone else, by gossiping etc. Catch yourself out.
  • Find the ‘I’ that is observing the ‘Me’ Find the wiser self, watch the ego play its little games.

Part 24 – The Relationship Bank

Paula is an Author / Hypnotherapist / Reiki Healer / Life Coach / Artist / Photographer, in Blessington Co. Wicklow. www.i-want-a-better-life.ie / paulaosullivan1@gmail.com / Phone 086 0848398 All her articles to date are on her blog www.paulaosullivan@wordpress.com

 

 


Climbing Out of the Abyss Part 5

September 17, 2014

              Self-Talk

Self Talk

‘You have been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens’ Louise L. Hay (Quote)

In previous parts I’ve mentioned how our thoughts, mental pictures and foods can affect our moods, and I’ve shared techniques for disassociating from painful memories. Now let’s discuss self -talk.

What is Self-talk? It is the inner voice in our minds which provides us with a running commentary on everything in our lives. It can be either positive or negative. A lot of our self-  talk developed in early childhood based on the things we heard others say to us and about us, or the things we observed others saying in general. We were young and impressionable and we believed what we heard. We form unconscious agreements in our beliefs about ourselves. We become who we repeatedly tell ourselves that we are.

When I was depressed I told myself many things that kept me down, unhappy and sometimes even suicidal. I constantly criticized myself and told myself over and over that I would fail, that I was no good, not worthy, stupid, ugly and fat. My mantra was ‘I can’t’.

To change anything we must first become aware of where we are. We have to catch ourselves thinking, we have to listen to the inner dialogue. We have to talk back and say ‘No, I don’t agree with that anymore, that’s my old conditioning, that’s something my parents/ friends/ partner/ teacher etc. used to say, and that might have felt true for them, but it doesn’t feel true for me, I want something better for me now!’

I discovered a RUT, was only a Record of Unhelpful Thoughts! I learned to not believe everything that I thought, that a belief is simply a thought we keep thinking repeatedly, and that by thinking different thoughts, that we can create different beliefs. In creating different beliefs we can change our habits and behaviour, and hey, there is one big exciting world out there waiting for us when we do this.

Want to feel better in yourself?

  • Listen to your self-talk.
  • Is it supportive of the person you want to be, or the life you want to have? If not, challenge it and change it.
  • If you’re calling yourself ‘stupid’ for example, say instead ‘No, I’m not stupid, I’m just doing the best I can with what I know now, and when I know better, I’ll do better and I sure won’t do it that way again after this though!’
  • Balance the talk, if you say ‘There are no jobs out there’ say instead, ‘There are plenty of people working in the type of jobs they like, I’m just finding it a little bit difficult to find one, is there anything I can do, training etc. that would give me a better chance? If not what else can I do with the free time I have?
  • When you say something to yourself, ask if there is any evidence to support that thought, are you just assuming, is there another perspective to view this from? Would you speak to a friend the way you are speaking to yourself?
  • Ask, ‘Is this thought serving me, will it bring me to where I want to go in life, will it make me feel better or worse?

In Part 6 Mindfulness

Paula is an Author/ Hypnotherapist / Reiki Healer / Artist in Blessington Co. Wicklow. www.i-want-a-better-life.ie / paulaosullivan1@gmail.com / Phone 086 0848398 All her articles to date are on her blog www.paulaosullivan@wordpress.com


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