Remind me Once Again

July 30, 2012

 

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It’s really nothing personal you know… it’s just that we had a sacred contract to remind each other who we are… that’s all… we still have free will… we can choose the path we’ll travel… into the light … or into the darkness… it’s our choice.. it’s nothing personal.

 

I can be anyone…your child, your parent, your lover, your sister, your brother… I am the man who’s black, white, yellow, red, whose different skin colour bothers you…the person of another creed who doesn’t believe the same things you do… I fill you with fear don’t I? Because, I am different from you, or separate, or so you think, or so you believe.

 

I am the woman you can’t stand the sight of, maybe I’m ugly or overweight in your perception, I don’t fit into your concept of perfection, so I become the object of your contempt. Maybe I’m poor, perhaps I have an addiction, or I’m covered in tattoos, I’m the hobo on the bus, the homeless person lying in a cardboard house in the rain, you know, the one you avert your eyes at as you pass.

 

Let’s not make eye contact whatever you do, for then I’ll remind you, who you are. And you may not like that reminder, it might make you feel uncomfortable, make you feel like you should be doing more.

 

Walk on my friend, even if we didn’t connect or make eye contact this time, the truth is, you saw me there at my worst, or when I was vulnerable, or lost, or in pain, but I still reminded you, of who you are. And who you are, goes home with you, like a shadow, that never leaves, whispering uncertainty and doubts in your ears.

 

Many life times ago, we agreed to meet. I told you I would come.

 

I came to show you how to have compassion, but you chose to walk blindly by. I came to show you tolerance but you chose to react with intolerance. I came to teach you love but you closed your heart to me. I came to teach you patience but you couldn’t find the time.

 

It’s okay, don’t beat yourself up with remorse or regrets, I’ll come again, in another guise, and another, and another, I’ll keep coming to remind you, of who you are. And one day maybe you’ll see that.

 

Maybe you’ll see who you are, and maybe you’ll like what you see, and maybe you won’t. But you’ll see, and when you do, you’ll realize that, who you are, is a choice. And you’ll see that you make that choice, and that it doesn’t really matter what has gone before, because you cannot change the past, you can only change how you think about the past. But what really matters now, is what you are going to become now. This moment… ask yourself… who am I? Do I like what I see?

 

Are you bringing out the best in others or the worst?

Are your intentions skilful or unskilful?

Do you track the future possible consequences of your words and actions?

Are you out to harm or to heal the people you meet?

 

I am here to teach you that there is another way. I am here to remind you again, of who you are, today.

 

 

 

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Let the Healing Begin

July 28, 2012

 

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A few years ago, if you’d have asked me was I a healer, I would have laughed at you for even asking me something like that. I didn’t feel worthy or good enough for such a gift.

Yet life is funny and throws some amazing lessons at us to learn, and I discovered that not only was I a healer, but that we all have the ability to heal within us, if we just know how.

For me, it began a couple of years ago. I developed a stress related illness. It started with severe headaches, and fatigue that floored me. I became slightly forgetful, had bad aches and pains in my bones, found that my legs, arms, face etc would become numb with tingling sensations, my speech would slow down and sometimes I was scared that I’d have a stroke. I would go out for a walk fine, and come back limping. I had many tests which didn’t show anything conclusive. I had an idea in my mind that I may just end up in a wheelchair, and I resigned myself to the fact that this was it.

My life wasn’t terribly exciting anyway at the time. I wasn’t happily married, things weren’t right. We were struggling to make enough money to live on. I had no friends left, as I gave them up when I married. I had no interests except the TV, my kids and a bottle of wine at the weekends. I already felt dead inside, and life had no meaning at all for me. I rarely smiled, there was no joy in me, and to be honest there were days when I spent hours considering ending it all. I think the only thing that kept me here was my kids; I wanted something better for them. I was a very ungrateful, negative thinker at the time, and I spent a lot of time trapped in a cycle of worry and fear. I had a lot of unresolved conflicts inside of my head, I had guilt, un forgiveness, frustration and anger all unexpressed and bottled up inside of me. I felt that life wasn’t fair, I felt like a victim and I was blaming the world big time. It’s no wonder I became ill.

Luckily in the course of the tests I was undergoing, I met a person who was so kind and attentive, that it woke me up. That person was just doing their job, it was unconditional kindness they were giving as part of their service to the world and it made a difference.

I realized that I hadn’t ever experienced kindness before; I realized that no one had ever really listened to me before, and suddenly I wanted to be kind to someone, I suddenly wanted to be or do something that would make another person feel alive inside like I did. This is where healing begins, when we reach out of our own darkness and want to help another person out of theirs.

This is where my present journey began in earnest, suddenly I had a purpose. I wanted to be kind, I wanted to help others, I didn’t know what I wanted to do, or how I would do it, as I was an early school leaver with little or no education, but I had a mission and that was a start. I began to read books like Louise Hay’s ‘You Can Heal Your Life’ and explored my thoughts and emotions. I learnt about energy fields , did courses in Chelation and Reiki, I explored Hypnosis, NLP etc I just kept asking questions, and when we start asking questions, we start getting some answers.

I discovered that we play a big part in our own wellness. I discovered that yes holding onto anger, hurt or pain, do steal your energy, they bring the frequency down, and when that happens , we can become ill. So let them go, oh yes by all means express yourself, but then let it go. Wellness is all about creating harmony and balance in our bodies. Address, accept and release if you want to heal. An imbalance of any emotion isn’t good for us. If you are angry all the time, or never angry, there is an imbalance. If you are always joyful, or never joyful, there is an imbalance. Find the point in-between the two.

Don’t let the world affect you too much, but have compassion. Don’t take the world personally. We are human, we are perfectly imperfect. We hurt each other, let each other down all the time. Accept that without losing heart or becoming bitter. Learn to love anyway, regardless of what happens to you, it’s an intention, a journey, you may never reach perfection, but you will free yourself of unnecessary suffering if you can love anyway. There is more than one way to perceive the world and what is happening.

You’re probably asking yourself, did I heal? Yes I am well now, all the symptoms long gone. Are we ever fully healed though?  Well maybe when we die we reach that perfection! I believe that life will give us many wounds to heal as lessons present themselves to us. We can become bitter or better. We can manifest illness, or wellness. I use body intuition now. I ask what my body needs. If I start to feel unwell, I see what emotions, or thoughts I’ve been harbouring, I check my diet, exercise, relaxation, work life balance etc. if I need to rest, I rest. If I need to nurture myself I do that. I don’t smoke and I gave up alcohol. I look at the part I’m playing in creating the imbalance (Illness) and I seek to address it before it manifests into something again. So far so good.

I believe that if we can first accept where we are in life, and add some gratitude for where we are and what we are learning from the experiences, then, we can turn around and start asking the questions.

For me, on hindsight, the illness could have been a great excuse to just opt out of a boring, mundane life that seemed to have no place for me in it. It would have been so easy to ignore the niggling thought, that something wasn’t quite right, that I should be doing something more meaningful. It would have been so easy, to wallow in all the attention an illness can bring. It would have been so easy to fill my life with the endless drama of hospital tests and visits, and retired into my illness until I became it.

But something far greater was calling me, and here I am. I went on to train in Hypnosis, and Reiki, and now I’m embarking on Life Coaching. Is this better than been ill? Undoubtedly! Did I get to be kind and help people? Oh yes, all the time, and it’s so very rewarding.

 

So are you ready to start asking some questions?

Is my life all I want it to be?

How could it be better?

If I took full responsibility for my actions and the part I’m playing in what is happening in my life, how would things be different? People only get away with being mean to us, if we allow them to. Stop blaming. Stop allowing them to be mean. If that’s a part you play, recognize it.

If you are ill, what is the illness stopping you from doing, and what would your life look like if you weren’t ill, what would you have to do if you weren’t ill? (And I know that not all people who are ill can get better, but every illness is drawing our attention to something that remains unresolved in our lives I believe) So maybe if you deal with the underlying issues, you may find symptoms relieve somewhat, worth a try, no guarantees though.

If I communicated my wants and needs openly how would my life improve?

These are just some questions you could ask yourself. I discovered that is so very easy to make excuses as to why things are the way they are, but when we see that we can have choices instead of excuses, we can choose more wisely, and choose to make things that are important to us, a priority.

You can be part of the darkness or part of the light. Part of the problem or part of the solution. Just know the part you’re playing, know that you are choosing either one or the other, become aware, and make a conscious choice today, if you want things to be better. Start adding some joy to your world, or start adding more misery, the choice is yours my friend, as we have free will. But just know that you are not powerless in all of this. You have within you something so amazing and beautiful, that if you could see what I see, you would cry tears of joy at the miracle of it all. The sad part is that most of us live and die without ever realizing what treasure we hold within, and we never give the world the benefit of that abundance. So find your treasure and please share so that all may receive the wealth that you have inside of you. You are precious, can’t you see that?

Are you ready to let the  healing begin?


Disassociation by Design

July 20, 2012

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Life throws so many things at us doesn’t it? People and situations, some unpleasant, some emotionally painful. Sometimes things just don’t go our way or the way we would like. And we end up mulling it all over, and over in our minds, tormenting ourselves about how it could have been different. Of course that just makes it worse in our minds. As the more we play back a picture that upsets us, the more we evoke stronger feelings and emotions in relation to this, which keeps us stuck in the past, and helps to make us more fearful of the future. Now most of us wouldn’t keep watching a DVD for instance, if it really upset us, so why do we continue to replay mental pictures that upset us and make us feel sad, uncomfortable, fearful or unhappy? Crazy aren’t we?

I’ve learnt some techniques which I’ve used successfully with my clients and in my own personal life too. I cannot take the credit for them, I’m just sharing something that works for me, if you know of any other ones, please share and I’ll update this article with them.

Firstly and very importantly, I suggest that you try to accept what has happened. A lot of the time, most of our pain and suffering, or even in some cases depression, arise out of our lack of acceptance of what the reality is. So when you get into the place in your mind where you accept that you can’t change what happened, but that you can change how you feel about it, then you can move on to disassociate effectively in my opinion.

What we’re aiming to do here, is to free your mind from unpleasant thoughts and feelings around a person or situation, so that you free yourself to move on to be able to embrace new experiences in the future.

This first one is about dissociating a bad feeling. If someone annoys you or leaves you with a bad feeling that you can’t shake.

Return to Sender

  • Imagine where that feeling is lodged, i.e. chest, tummy?
  • Imagine a colour for it
  • Imagine a shape / texture
  • Then imagine plonking it onto the table, packaging it up, and then firing it over the horizon back to the person who gave it to you!
  • At best it will give you something to smile about

Now as a loving spiritual type of person, I don’t tend to send bad energy or bad feelings back at anyone, so the original one I came across is mentioned here, but I changed this slightly and I send the package to the far ends of the universe for recycling. I believe that feelings are only good or bad if we attach that label to them. So for me, I’m sending stagnant energy out and away from me, and I’m not harming anyone by directing it at them. Do whatever works for you, play around with this idea, and make it your own, so that you can feel better.

Photo disassociation

  • Imagine a person or situation that has bothered you
  • If you are in the picture with the person or situation in your mind, notice how you feel, how bright is the picture? Full colour?
  • Now imagine you are looking in on the person or situation as if you were a bystander, you can now see you and the person from a third perspective. Notice how you feel now, as an observer, you’ll be slightly more detached and less emotionally involved.
  • Now imagine that you take a photo. There is a frame around the picture of you and the person and situation, and the photo is in bright colour, large and up close.
  • Now start pushing that photo further away from you, so that it gets smaller and smaller and the colour starts to fade out of it, until it becomes just a white rectangle in the distance and then dissapears.
  • Do this, as often as necessary until you feel better about the person or situation. Ideally the intensity of your feelings about the issue will lessen as the photo gets smaller.

Movie Theatre

  • Imagine that you go into an empty cinema and sit down. You feel safe. On the screen is a situation that has been bothering you. It’s on pause ready to play.
  • When you are ready, play through the situation as you recall it, then pause at the point that you would like a different outcome of how you reacted or felt about it.
  • Now rewind it back to the beginning really fast.
  • Think about how you would like it to be different, ie, maybe you have a new or different perspective at the end of it; maybe you can see it from a different point of view, from theirs or from a third party view point.
  • Now play it again, and in your mind allow the picture of that new approach to go up on the screen. See yourself calmly reacting in a different way this time. Feel the feelings, you want to feel etc.
  • Pause. How does that feel? Better? Or not there yet?
  • Rewind back to the beginning and pause. Think, what could be better?
  • When you are ready, press play, let the movie reflect what you want the situation to be like, get into the feelings that you do want to feel, not the ones you don’t want to feel.  So how would you like to feel? Play that out. See yourself playing that out. Work with it until you feel happy. And then play it again. Pause, rewind, and play as many times as it takes until you feel you have it as you want it.

Then whenever you think of this situation again, play the updated movie in your mind. It won’t change what has happened, but you will feel better about it. And you will have a blueprint in your mind for the next time something like that happens to you. This can be used for many things. You can use it to pre plan how you want to be in future situations. The more you play your mind movie over and over, bringing up new thoughts, new feelings and new emotions, you will successfully re programme yourself. I did this long before I trained as a Hypnotherapist, I played a mind movie over and over, getting it right, seeing and  feeling how it would be when I qualified. By the time I got to train, most people believed I was already a professional. I’m doing it again now, as I’m training to be a Life Coach. I’ve used this technique to deal with emotional situations also, so I know first hand that these techniques work if we work at making them work.

If you need any help with this, feel free to contact me. I’ll share what I can.


Unapologetically Yours – Re discovering your Authenticity

July 19, 2012

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Can you hear the whisper in the breeze? Come back, come back it implores, come back to source. Come back to love, come back to the old ways, to the simplicity, come back to your heart, and let your ego be quiet. Listen to me, listen to me it whispers, listen to me it implores, come back, come back, come back to source.

We’re born authentic, we just learn how not be, as we grow up. We learn that being ourselves pisses some people off, so we change, and we change, until we wake up one morning and no longer know who we really are. We are a montage of others expectations and desires and needs. It’s so sad.

Re discovering your authenticity takes time and patience. It requires a flexible approach. It’s difficult to know where to begin, it’s hard to know what kind of questions to ask, but start asking you must.

Being authentic means being genuine, reliable and trustworthy. Maybe that’s a good place to start. Ask yourself, am I any of these things, and if I’m not, that’s okay, but how can I get to be them? What do I need to do? And most importantly of all, do I really want to become these qualities? Or am I getting some form of payback by not being them? All our behaviours have some form of payback, otherwise we wouldn’t do them.

How do I become genuine? By being true to yourself first. Stop saying yes, when you really mean no. Stop doing or saying things that you know people what to hear or see. Become aware of what you really want to say or do. This doesn’t give you a licence to be uncaring, unhelpful, selfish or insensitive either! A genuine person will kindly explain in some instances why they don’t want to do something. I do it all the time, I say thanks but I’m not up for that at the moment, or I’m a bit drained right now, could you please ask someone else to do that, for example. The world goes on with or without you, and most people will respect your honesty, rather than your unwilling participation. Say what you mean and mean what you say. It takes awareness to do this. Become aware of the things you say or think, and question them, is it true, or is it something a friend, partner or parent always says? Does this really represent you? Chip away at all the bull, you’ll find yourself in there somewhere. I did.

How can I become reliable? Do what you say on the tin! When you align what you think, with what you say, with what you do. There will be no conflict inside of you, and if you say you’ll do something, or you’ll be somewhere, or you say you are a certain type of person, then you will be, because your thoughts, words and actions will show that. There will be harmony within.

How can I become trustworthy? Well, for a start, treat others as you would like to be treated. If you want to be let down, lied to, cheated on, used etc keep going as you are, if you’re like that. No one will trust you, except the odd fool, but even they will cop on eventually. Begin by becoming what you would like to experience with others. Be honest with yourself first. Know what you want and need, and communicate that as openly as possible with others, without fear of their disapproval. Develop an image of yourself as being trusted and being trusting. Take full responsibility for your actions, and stop blaming others, for the part you played.

Let go of your need for approval from others. Catch yourself out, when you do this. Become aware of it.  Most of us have this child inside us wanting to be seen as the good boy or girl! I laughed when I became aware of this in me. Now I couldn’t give two hoots if you approve of me or not, I do my own thing, it’s very liberating I can tell you.

I no longer worry about or care what anyone thinks. Of course there are limits, the world may not always understand you, there will always be someone who disapproves of you, or the way you think, or the way you dress etc. But when you are being authentic and true to yourself, that won’t really bother you too much, as you’ll see that the issue isn’t with you after all, as you now accept yourself… you’ll see that the issue is now with them, and it’s their problem to solve.

For now you are happy and authentic and unapologetically free!

I’ll leave you with two quotes.

“Real isn’t how you are made,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.’

‘Does it hurt?’ asked the Rabbit.

‘Sometimes,’ said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. ‘When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.’

‘Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,’ he asked, ‘or bit by bit?’

‘It doesn’t happen all at once,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”
― Margery WilliamsThe Velveteen Rabbit

“There is nothing more beautiful than seeing a person being themselves. Imagine going through your day being unapologetically you.”

― Steve MaraboliLife, the Truth, and Being Free


What Would Love Do Now?

July 19, 2012

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A while back I discovered a very useful principle that could be used with anyone and in most situations. The WWLDN (What would love do now) Principle lends an element of acceptance and empathy, that can create an oasis of calm for the eager practitioner.

Of course to practice this principle we must first be clear on exactly what love is.

So what is love?

Mmmmm, so many things spring to mind with the word love. Let’s keep it simple shall we?

Love is… patient… love is… kind… love is….understanding… love is supportive… love is…encouraging….love is… non judgemental…love is…non clinging… love is…non controlling…. love is…accepting… love is…gentle…. love is….forgiving… love is having a sense of humour and not taking things too personal… ok…. You see where I’m going with this?

The problem with most of us, is that we have been programmed most of our lives. We have been programmed to have rigid views and expectations. We see characters acting out scenarios on TV, showing us the way it should be. We see our parents, friends, family etc role modelling modes and opinions of accepted behaviour. And when something similar happens in our lives, we go into a kind of auto pilot response, of how we should be reacting, we don’t even think about it, and we can see or hear our mum, or our dad or whoever, in our heads, telling us how to argue with our spouses, partners, and friends. We hear those voices telling us not to let them away with it, or we see our TV characters behaviour in our minds and off we go, re creating some drama or other. Pretty scary huh! I think it is, and for a lot of my life it was exactly like that. Until I discovered, the WWLDN Principle.

So how does this change things?

Well…. Your kids are screaming at you and you are tempted to react like your mum, dad, friend etc. but you know it will mean you getting angry, maybe losing control again, and spending the rest of the day feeling guilty and apologizing, but knowing deep inside that you have damaged your relationship further, and that someday it will be too late to say sorry. So you pause for a moment and think What Would Love Do Now? And you think about what element of love is most appropriate in this situation. So maybe you’ll explore being kind, or being patient for example. And you notice that the anger dissipates, and over time your relationship heals.

Or your neighbour who always manages to push your buttons in a negative way and brings out the worst in you is moving in for the kill yet again and you’re fired up to give him/ her a piece of your mind, and you can feel the pressure in your head already as your blood pressure rises… and you pause for a moment and ask yourself… What Would Love Do Now? And again you explore the most appropriate component of love for this situation, so you may decide to just understand their point of view, or you may decide to be non controlling and let go of the need to be right. You might even bring some humour in and say to them, yes you’re right, I agree, and then walk away, watching their chin drop to the ground. Ego loves to be right, and if you let them be right without it becoming a personal issue for you, you might even get to have a little chuckle to yourself about the whole thing.

My life has changed in the most amazing ways since I started incorporating it into every interaction and situation. I can already see the difference of outcomes as compared to my pre WWLDN phase.

There are always opportunities to interrupt the way we’ve been programmed, and the WWLDN Principle is a great way to do this. Give it a go; see what kind of positive difference this makes in your life!


Painful Awakening

July 6, 2012

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Something’s not right is it? You’ve known it for quite a while now haven’t you? But you can’t quite put your finger on it, can you?

Life is a daily drudge, sleeping and waking, trying to fill the big void. There is something missing, but you don’t know what it is, and what you try to fill the void with, isn’t working, is it? The pain is still there. Something is wrong.

The drugs no longer give you the high you needed, the pain and unease are still there, even after a night of heavy drinking, oh you escaped it for a while, but now its back isn’t it? The addictions don’t fulfil the need you have anymore, but you don’t really know what that need is anyway. The casual sex isn’t doing it for you either… and the porn… well, you’ve gone so past your initial comfort zone… desensitised yourself so much, that you hardly recognize who you are anymore. The depression is getting worse not better. You’re in pain, you’re ill, the medication doesn’t work and all they do is keep handing you more and more pills, and tell you to go away, and you wonder where will it all end?

Yet each and every day is the same, one dull moment after another, interspersed with thoughts of the next high, the next drug, the next drink, the next encounter, the next pill… life has no meaning has it ? Sure don’t you need this stuff? What else is there?

But the pain keeps chasing you, and you run, and you run to escape it, but you can’t, it’s like your shadow, clinging closer and closer, becoming more and more restricting the more you try to run from it…. until you crash and burn or….

Until the day you turn and face this thing, it will never leave you.

This is the day of painful awakening, when you wake up, and say I want something different, I don’t know what, I don’t know how, but something has to change here. I can’t go on like this.

And you’re standing there in the void of your own making, and you’re lost and alone and scared out of your wits, because the familiar is still calling you, and your pain is great, but you know, you just know that the fear of the unknown and the fear of what it entails, will have to battle with that old way of being in your world, before you can move on.

And most of us don’t know how to move on, people don’t understand what we’re going through, they don’t know our secrets, how many would stay with us if they did? Very few I gather. So you’re alone, and afraid and suddenly vulnerable in the shadow of your pain, no one can help you now, but yourself.

Are you strong enough? Ask for strength… yes you’re strong enough, it’s inside you all along… you’ve come this far… yes you’re strong…. ask for it… see yourself coping… see yourself  being strong… ask for it…. feel that strength… that determination seeping into every cell… every fibre of your being… feel it…

Identify your needs… what do you really want? Everything we do has a form of payback, whether it is something we are aware of consciously or unconsciously, otherwise we wouldn’t do it… think about it….

What are the drugs / drink giving you? A high, an escape from a mundane world? Try science, try nature, have you walked in the rain yet and enjoyed it, allowed the rain to fall on your face, on your skin, looked into a raindrop and saw the world in it? Got high on the scents of damp earth and wet foliage, or the scent of newly cut grass, have you ever sat under the moon and stars and wondered at the awesomeness of it all? Have you every really looked at a flower, an insect, a sunset and felt something indescribably beautiful welling up inside of you? Have you ever noticed the wind caressing your skin? There is a bigger high, a bigger escape that can be found, if we take the time to look for it, and sometimes it just finds us, we just have to be aware and open to it.

What is your pain, illness, disease or depression giving you? An excuse? An opt out clause from living? Attention of some sort? A veil to hide behind? Have you ever thought about it? What are you resisting? What are you not accepting in your life? What have you not dealt with emotionally? Who have you not forgiven? Who are you still angry at? Acceptance is the beginning of the end of pain. What we resist, persists until we accept and let it go. What are you still taking personal? What are you still hanging on to, that is causing your depression, your illness, your dis ease, your pain? I know people who have been told they would die young, but they are still alive, I know of people who were told they’d lost the use of limbs forever, yet they can use them now. I know of people who were told they’d never walk again, yet they do. And I also know of people who believed the doctors and they died, or they are still ill, not only with one illness, but a fine collection of maladies, which keeps them happy in a painful way. Please forgive me, some of you are getting angry, protesting, a normal response, some illness etc cannot be healed, oh I know that, but think about this more deeply when your anger subsides. What is it giving you? What is the payback? What would have to be different in your life if you hadn’t got that issue? What would your life require of you? Our body will tell us what part of us needs attention, our subconscious mind will express any perceived threat to the inner balance of our body in some way, shape or form. What is it stopping you from doing? Does that question make you comfortable or uncomfortable? Become aware.

What is sex or porn giving you? I’m not talking about loving sex here by the way. I’m talking about multiple partners. Is it just for company? You can’t bear to be on your own? Don’t you like yourself, your own company, your own thoughts? Perhaps you have a need to release tension, frustration, anger? Perhaps you can’t allow yourself to get close to someone, to connect with them deeply, it’s easier to see people as an object, then you can disconnect quicker, walk away, next please. You might have to lose something of yourself if you connect mightn’t you? Sex and desires are of the Ego part of our minds, they always want to get something, they always fear that we can lose something, so the giving a part of ourselves doesn’t come into it. It’s all about getting. Fear is great in all of this. Ego wants the next great excitement, it’s always looking for more, and nothing ever satisfies this part of us. Nothing will ever be enough.  You’ve tried sexuality, have you tried sensuality? Tantra? It awakens a deeper part of us, a more satisfying part. Have you really looked into the eyes of your lover, seen their soul and let them see yours?… Oh it’s scary… it’s uncomfortable at first… you feel more vulnerable than if you were naked with a stranger… it’s disquieting… oh but how you can connect… oh but how you can know that person without the words. Have you ever just held hands? Noticed the warmth of their skin, have you ever really looked closely at the person you’re with? The magazines and the videos and the images will never even come close to the feeling of euphoria, inner joy and contentment this can bring.

Another form of escapism from pain is the TV; we don’t have to think when we watch it. We can opt out of life so easily. We sit for hours in trance watching stupid programmes, all these things keep us stuck… they all have some form of payback and most of us are happily or unhappily unaware that there is another way. When you see that you have a choice and you can consciously do something towards making a different choice, that’s when things will change, that’s when you’ll get different results, that’s when you’ll see that life does not actually have any meaning…. Until we give it some ourselves! Welcome to your painful awakening if you choose it! The choice is yours! Choose consciously!


In Search of Perfection

July 5, 2012

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We’re all going to die. There is no dispute about that. it is the only certainty in this life. But that’s not really the issue is it? The issue is, when are you going to start living? When are you going to grasp this moment, this day, as if it really were your last? When are you going to begin to give everything you’ve got to your situations, to your relationships? When are you going to start giving your best, your 100% to it all?

Because we’re all going to die aren’t we? There are no guarantees. You may think, well I’ll live to my eighties, but you could die this moment couldn’t you? Or maybe you’ve been told you could die sooner, but you’re reading this, so you’re still alive.

But you’re looking for perfection aren’t you? And you’re holding back until you find it, before you can give yourself fully, aren’t you? Well let me tell you that the only real perfection is death, it is complete and final, and you won’t find that kind of black and white perfection in life. In death you’ll find it, you’re either dead or you’re alive. Yet most of us live as if we are already dead or halfway there.

And yet we can create a form of perfection while we live, but we must be fully alive to do so. No half measures here, oh no, you need to give it your all if you want results. You must be fully present in everything, the good the bad the indifferent. Be fully present. Be fully grateful for everything that presents itself into your realm of reality. Fully grateful. No more thoughts of this is not enough, oh no, it is all more than enough. No more thoughts of ego mind, telling you that you aren’t receiving enough out of this or that. No more thoughts of lack, of something missing. Instead with gratitude and an attitude of giving you give it your all, your best; you give it your everything. Then you’ll see the perfection that can exist. Then you’ll discover that it is all perfect, it is as it should be, and that the only thing that was missing was your participation, your giving and your gratitude.


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