When I was thinking about writing this piece, I recalled the words a boyfriend had uttered to me long, long ago as we discussed breaking up. He said ‘Paula, I don’t think I can make you happy’, and although I didn’t agree with him at the time, I laughed when I remembered this, as he was so right! He couldn’t have ever made me happy! Why?
Because no one can ‘make us happy’ and we cannot ‘make someone happy’ either. Happiness springs from within, and I believe that it comes first from learning to love and accept ourselves unconditionally and then from developing a grateful heart.
When we are viewing our world in this way of love, we are happy within and without. People, circumstances, the weather, set backs, let downs will only affect us temporarily as we will be ‘happy’ anyway. In this happy state, we will learn also to be grateful for the people etc in our lives, we will recognise that everyone has something to teach us; even if it’s not something we particularly want to learn right now! We will learn to love and accept others unconditionally and therefore eventually ridding ourselves of judgements and prejudices.
So while I may enjoy your company, while I may look into your beautiful face and listen contentedly to the lilting of your melodic voice as you speak to me, while you may warm my heart with your wonderfulness, and I see that you are a reflection of me and I am a reflection of you, I realise that we are only contributing to each other’s happiness and in recognising that people can be happy together, we must also recognise that if they or we, are not already happy, there will be something lacking, a void that they or we will forever seek to be filled by one another. I speak from my own experience as I recall failed relationship after failed relationship. Each one a lesson in it’s own right, but steadily bringing me closer and closer to the revelation of what was wrong of what was missing.
Know thyself, to thine own self be true, learn to love yourself first, then there will be more than enough love to share with others. Be grateful, and then you will recognise the value of what you do have. Learn to accept, learn not to judge, rid yourself of prejudice, mark these on your road map of life, and you will find yourself on the road back home, and when you get there and open the door you will find ‘happiness’ waiting within to greet you.