Are you getting warmer?

When I was a little child, I used to play a game with my friends. I don’t recall if we had a name for it, but it went something like this….

Someone would hide an object and as the searcher got further away from finding it, the other person would say’ you’re getting colder ,  you’re freezing’ etc. etc. and as they  got closer to finding the object, the other person would say ‘you’re getting warmer, you’re boiling’, it was good fun. We spent many a happy hour or two playing this game.

Now, I’ve had a very challenging year, there’s very little of the ‘me’ I used to be, left, I’m just not the same person that I was last year.  I have changed so much, mind, body, spirit, some of my old friends hardly know me.

Over this past year, like this game I mentioned, I’ve had to constantly ask myself the same questions, ‘Am I getting warmer? Am I getting nearer to what I really, really want. ? Are my thoughts, words, actions, bringing me closer to, or further away from where I want to be? Are my motives and reasons correct? Are they for the highest good of all, or are they little oul me being selfish? And no, I can’t tell you that it gets easier to answer these questions the more aware we become. But I can tell you that we can make happier choices depending on our answers.

So many questions come with change, I can look back and remember a time when it was too painful to think, because if I started to think, then I would have to change, and the thoughts of that were nearly worse for me at the time than to stay in the painful state of numbness, sadness, illness etc that I was in.

But the time did come when it was more painful to not change, and life came and asked me to dance, and I decided to say ‘yes’ this time because I’d spent most of my life saying ‘thanks, but not this time, I’ll sit this one out’. And yes I can see why people will stay unhappy; I can see why they won’t make changes, I can see why they will remain with closed hearts, closed minds, angry and resentful at a world that denied them their dreams, and I want to say, ‘I UNDERSTAND YOU,  I was there, not so long ago. And I want to tell you that life is very short, to be blaming the world for what you’re missing, when you can actually do something about it yourself, today.

We can take our excuses to the grave if we like, or we can awaken and ask ourselves  ‘ what do I really, really want ? Visualize it over there in front of you, not too far away…. Now ask yourself  ‘ Are the thoughts I’m thinking, are the words I’m saying, is the story I’m telling, are the actions I’m doing, right now, bringing me closer or further away from what I really, really want ? Am I getting warmer? And if you’re not, if you’re answer is no, maybe, just maybe this would be the best moment to ask yourself ‘WHY?’

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